Platonic affair titillates husband

Fri., Dec. 17, 2004

Steve and Mia Knight Ridder

Q: I’m a happily married man who’s developed a platonic friendship with a young woman.

I’m not sure how this happened, but over time she began confiding in me all of her romances, including her sexual experiences, in great detail.

I am very titillated by this, and I get the impression she is titillated by telling me, sort of like an exhibitionist-voyeur relationship.

My question is, is this cheating?

Steve: Only your wife knows the answer. To some wives, looking at another woman is cheating. To others, casual sex outside marriage is OK as long as you are honest about it. Every couple has its own rules. But you should tell your wife about it, and if she objects, stop it.

Mia: I don’t see how a little sexy chitchat between friends is any worse than reading porno mags. As long as you both know it’s all talk and no action, I think it’s fine.

Q: Last year at my office Christmas party, I had a few drinks and wound up making out with this cute guy from another department.

We didn’t start dating or anything (he’s not my type), but it was hot gossip for the next three months, and I was embarrassed.

Now it’s time for another party. I want to have fun again but don’t want to be the object of gossip.

Suggestions?

Steve: Drink less, dance more. And never make out with, or date, anyone at work. When things go wrong, instead of just your personal life being screwed up, your professional life is too. Not to mention the gossip.

Mia: Have only two drinks at your office party. After the party, you can go to a bar, get tanked and make out with some stranger. No one at work will be the wiser.

Q: My boyfriend and I were at a party at a friend’s house last week and got so horny that we ended up having sex in the bathroom.

After we left, I realized that I forgot my thong on the floor. I’m so embarrassed.

Should I apologize to the host or just pretend like nothing happened?

Mia: Thong? What thong?

Steve: I agree with Mia. Unless you write your name on your underwear, it never happened.

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