A word from Scrooge
“Andy Williams’ assertion that this is the most wonderful time of the year does not bear close examination in my view,” wrote Martin Kelner in England’s Guardian newspaper.
“What he should have sung is that while the buildup to Christmas can be quite fun in a lame-brained -getting-bladdered -and-overspending -on-lots-of -meretricious-trash sort of way, the day itself is liable to be a thundering anticlimax to anyone over the age of 5.”
What set off this tirade?
The Cliff Richard celebrity tennis tournament on Britain’s Sky Sports network, that’s what.
“This annual pestilence has become a Christmas Day fixture,” Kelner said of the 64-year-old former pop star’s event. “And if occasionally you scratch your head trying to think of anything less welcome, as you struggle to digest unfeasible quantities of turkey and roast potatoes, than Cliff Richard singing ‘Mistletoe and Wine,’ how about Cliff Richard in tennis shorts singing ‘Mistletoe and Wine’?”
Into the holiday spirits?
Sunday’s King George VI Chase, a 3-mile steeplechase at Kempton Park racecourse in England, almost came to grief when an unidentified man strolled across the track seconds before winner Kicking King crossed the finish line.
Police, who took the man into custody, had no trouble finding him in the crowd. He was dressed as Santa Claus.
Enough already
“I’m glad ABC didn’t try to milk the moment,” The Baltimore Sun’s Peter Schmuck said of last Saturday’s Kobe Bryant-Shaquille O’Neal showdown at Staples Center.
“There was the pregame Shaq interview (which revealed nothing), the prerecorded halftime Shaq interview (when he told us what a classy guy he is), the pregame Kobe interview (which revealed nothing) and the live Kobe halftime interview (during which I realized I was more interested in watching Michele Tafoya breathe than listening to another word from either one of these guys).”
Not guarded in comments
Sid Lowe, who covers Spanish soccer for the Guardian, said Real Madrid’s defense was woeful in a loss to Seville on Sunday.
“Raul Bravo, whose surname becomes a greater statement of post-modern irony with every passing game, couldn’t stop Daniel Alves and Sergio Ramos on the right,” Lowe wrote.
“Michel Salgado couldn’t stop Jesuli on the left, and Walter Samuel couldn’t stop traffic outside a school with a Zebra crossing, a fluorescent coat and a bloody great luminous lollipop.”
A total makeover
According to Bud Geracie of the San Jose Mercury News, without Terrell Owens the Philadelphia Eagles are just another NFC team.
“While inserting a screw in T.O.’s injured ankle,” Geracie observed, “doctors should have tightened the one in his head.”
Mooed off the field
Miami Dolphins fans apparently were not in good voice while watching their team stumble to its 10-7 victory last Sunday over the equally inept Cleveland Browns.
“The night’s soundtrack was a sort of thin, halfhearted booing,” wrote The Miami Herald’s Greg Cote, ” … like a field full of dairy cows … in some loosely organized complaint against stale hay.”