Unadorned doesn’t mean unattached

Q: I met this cute guy at a club and struck up a conversation with him. After talking with him, I learned he was married.

Now here’s what makes me furious: He wasn’t wearing a ring! So he wasted my time. Why don’t all married men, like all married women, wear rings?

Steve: I did a quick survey of guys in my office and found about half of the married men don’t wear rings, presumably because they don’t have them. And what about a guy who lives with a gal, but is not married to her? Frankly, I don’t see the big deal. If you wonder whether a guy, or a ringless woman for that matter, has a significant other, just ask.

Mia: Shouldn’t all married guys be wearing their “I love my wife” T-shirts at all times anyway? Perhaps with the matching baseball hats? Hey, at least he told you he was married. He could have waited until after he slept with you.

Q: I’m a good-looking guy in my 20s. I know how to be charming and most people who meet me like me. My problem is I feel like I have no place to meet anyone. A few years ago, when I was living in a college dorm, I had no problems. There were women living on my floor; I had classes with many women.

Now I have no way to really meet anyone. I pretty much work with all girls who have “baby daddies” and a lot of drama and attitude, too. I go to clubs sometimes, but it’s still hard meeting a nice girl at those places too. Any ideas?

Mia: You poor good-looking, charming guy. There’s no definite solution to your problem, I’m afraid. The best thing to do is just try to meet some new people. Join a club or volunteer for a cause. Does your school have a local alumni group? Also, keep your eyes open as you’re around town. I once dated a guy I met in an art museum, for example. So girls might be where you least expect them. Good luck.

Steve: I’m with Mia. Join groups that interest you, such as a book club, a movie club, a car club, or take a yoga class or dance lessons, etc. Not only does that improve chances you’ll meet a cute girl, but you’ll already have an interest in common.

Q: My girlfriend lives about an hour away. We see each other most weekends. Recently, a woman who lives nearby started sending me messages on the Internet. We agreed to meet for lunch. She turned out to be a very attractive young woman. Lunch turned into drinks that night, which turned into an overnight stay. Now she IMs me about once a week and occasionally comes over to spend the night. She doesn’t want a boyfriend, just a cyber booty-call. My girlfriend doesn’t know. Should I break up with her, even though I have no plans on dating this younger woman?

Steve: How much do you care about your girlfriend? If you’re in love or it’s heading that way, then you must say “No” to Ms. Booty-call. Odds of keeping your night-moves secret are slim.

Mia: Come on, if things were going well with the girlfriend, you probably wouldn’t be looking for booty-calls elsewhere. Sounds like the relationship is winding down. But you should do the right thing and break it off before she hears about your cheating ways.

Q: I have a comment on your recent column about a woman who was unhappy with her small breasts. I’m a single guy and trying to meet someone like her.

There are a lot of guys out there who love small breasts. A lot of guys act like all they want is big ones (to act cool around their friends), but many I’ve talked to said they like smaller ones. Keep it natural, girls, plastic is not where it’s at.

Steve: Some guys like blondes, some brunettes. Some like blue eyes, some brown. Some like big gals, some petite. Mother Nature gave everyone different tastes so each of us is attractive to someone.

Mia: Some people aren’t attractive to anyone, Steve. Those greasy, unbathed nerds who frequent “Star Trek” conventions? Nobody loves them. As for breasts, I think most men will take what they can get.