Don’t make big decisions in angry state

Dear Annie: I recently found out my husband had obtained a credit card in his name from my personal checking account and ran up a bill of $13,000. I had to report it as fraud. Now I think he should pay back every penny he spent. He could ruin my established credit.

We’ve been married for 10 years, but I no longer trust him. I want a divorce, but I’d hate to break up our family and lose the house. I plan to take him to court if he does not pay for his mistake, but otherwise, I am really confused as to what I should do about this mess. Any suggestions? — Boston

Dear Boston: You sound very angry, and understandably so, but your anger may be clouding your judgment, pushing you to take action you may later regret.

Is this the first time your husband has been so untrustworthy, or is it part of a pattern? Is he a good father? Do you feel anything for him at all? You need to think about what is best in the long run before you rush to divorce court.

Consider seeing both a marriage counselor and a credit counselor. The first will help you decide if you can regain trust in your husband and if continuing the marriage is worthwhile. The second will help work out a payment plan so your husband can repay the money he stole from you and learn more responsible ways of cash management. Contact the National Foundation for Credit Counseling at (800) 388-2227 ( www.nfcc.org) for more information.

Dear Annie: I didn’t like your answer to “Lynn,” whose sister was getting married but refused to invite Lynn’s husband. You said she should go to the ceremony but skip the reception. How can someone be so rude as to refuse to invite the spouse of a sibling? If he doesn’t go, neither should she. — Mad in Michigan

Dear Mad: We agree completely that there was no excuse to exclude Lynn’s husband. However, since Lynn said she loves her sister, we felt a compromise was best for Lynn’s peace of mind. (Sis sounds like a real piece of work.)

Dear Annie: I saw your response to “Suffering in Marianna, Fla.,” about putting apple cider vinegar in tea to relieve hot flashes, and I thought I’d send my recipe for a homemade salad dressing. This is a very tasty way to get your apple cider vinegar. I keep it in a jar in the fridge. Apple Cider Vinegar Salad Dressing: 1 cup apple cider vinegar, 1 cup extra virgin olive oil, 1/4 cup honey, 1/4 cup fresh-squeezed lemon juice (reconstituted is OK).

Mix ingredients, shake in a jar, pour on your greens and enjoy! — A.L.

Dear A.L.: Thank you. Salad dressing may be a more palatable way for some women to get apple cider vinegar into their diet. Here’s one more:

Dear Annie: Vinegar in tea? Surely you jest. I’m originally from the South, and we would never ruin our tea like that. I have a better suggestion:

Boil cored green cabbage and two or three medium potatoes. Remove the cabbage and potatoes from the broth. Now here is the good part. Take the broth and some apple cider vinegar, add salt and pepper to taste, and drink it like coffee. Our family has been doing this for over 40 years, and there is never a drop left. — Milwaukee

Dear Milwaukee: For some people, vinegar in tea is easier to contemplate than potato-cabbage broth, but to each his own. Our thanks for the suggestions.