Hoop potatoes

FOR THE PAST TWO years, Steve Mortier was nearly too pooped to hoop. The Spokane opera singer and voice instructor knows what it feels like to play in Hoopfest with little or no preparation.

“You get excited for the first game and after about the first three minutes, you’re pooped for the rest of the game,” says Mortier, 44. “You’ve just got to gut it out … Last year, I decided, ‘I’m not going to be hurting like this’.”

So, Mortier put up a basketball hoop in his yard and has been playing once a week for the last several months with the guys on his team, affectionately (but hopefully not aptly) named Too Old and Slow.

Now, he says, “I’m in great shape.”

Beware you weekend warriors and chronic couch potatoes: Hoopfest is serious business. Pounding the pavement under the often-blazing sun can send even the fittest athletes to the first-aid tent. So, if flipping on the TV constitutes your most strenuous exercise the rest of the year, you may want to take it easy at Hoopfest.

If you have the fitness level of a sloth, don’t despair. Judging by the names of some of the more than 6,000 teams registered for Spokane’s annual three-on-three basketball tournament, couch potatoes are in good company. In addition to Mortier’s Too Old and Slow, there’s Old Fat and Slow, Old Bald Short Slow, We Just Look Old, Aches and Pains, and Weakened Warriors.Jokes aside, players who haven’t trained for Spokane’s annual three-on-three basketball tournament often suffer the consequences, says Dr. P.Z. Pearce, a Group Health sports medicine specialist.

“You don’t have normal flexibility (so) you really are at more risk of injuries such as muscle strain because you’re asking your joints to go through a range of motion they’re not familiar with,” Pearce says. “You are at risk for repetitive-motion injuries … because you’re essentially accelerating your training program in one day.”

Here are some things you should know if you plan on going from sedentary to street-baller overnight.

First off, Premera Blue Cross operates four first-aid tents during Hoopfest. They’re at Riverside and Wall, Main and Washington, Riverfront Park, and Post and Mallon. All of the tents will offer free, preventative taping before games.

“When you haven’t worked out, the connective tissues are not up to par,” says Rick Klingler, a registered nurse who helps organize the first-aid tents. “Taping your ankles might be a good idea.”

Often, though, the better-prepared athletes are the only ones wise enough to seek professional help, Klingler says.

“Some of the people who are not-so-bright about pre-training end up limping along and not coming in,” he says. “If they haven’t trained, they’ll kind of just push the envelope.”

And then there’s the pesky issue of hydration. Apparently some weekend warriors are a little shaky on that subject.

“They’ll play a game and drink a beer afterwards,” Klingler says.

Ideally, you should start prehydrating (with water, of course) a few days before the big game, the experts say. Drink 16 ounces of a non-carbonated, non-caffeinated, non-alcoholic fluid the night before your first game. Do the same thing the morning of the game, and drink another 16 ounces one hour before tip-off. Twenty minutes before game time, slug back another 8 ounces. And be sure to keep drinking fluids during and after each game.

Invest in some good shoes. But — and here’s another potential couch-potato mistake — don’t forget to break them in a bit before competing in them.

“They want to wear their brand new sneakers because they want to look all fit,” Klingler says. “Buy shoes a week beforehand and spend some time walking around in them and stretching them out.”

If you haven’t been exercising, your feet might not be accustomed to all that friction. Protect them from blisters by wearing two pairs of socks, a thin pair under a thicker pair.

And, says Klingler, “If you start to develop a blister, don’t keep playing on it.” Check in at one of the first-aid tents and get it fixed up.

Dress in layers so you’re prepared for all kinds of weather. And, no matter where your court is, be sure to wear plenty of sunscreen. Spare your eyes and invest in a sweat-proof brand.

It’s Tuesday. Hoopfest kicks off Saturday. That’s about 96 hours away, give or take. If you’re only now considering training, there’s not much you can do.

“If you’re determined to do something stupid and do it anyway, then really I think the main things are to get as much practice time as you can, make sure you’re well-rested and make sure your equipment is in good shape,” Pearce says.

Most of the time, being under-prepared leads to little more than bruised egos and some nasty cases of road rash, Klingler says.

“I’ve seen some pretty unhappy results,” he says with a laugh. “They get too tired; they just don’t have the endurance to keep going.”

But if you are seriously out-of-shape or have any underlying health problems, especially a heart condition, you should discuss your Hoopfest plans with your doc, the experts say.

If you have any shortness of breath or chest pain during a game, alert your court monitor or get to a first-aid tent right away. Medics can even do an EKG or start an IV right on the court, Klingler says.

“Don’t play the hero,” he says.

Two days after Hoopfest and you’re still sore? That’s no surprise, Pearce says. Expect to be stiff for about 48 hours after such strenuous activity, especially if you haven’t trained. But if you have swelling, severe pain or limited movement, it’s wise to call in a pro.

“Soak in a warm bath, take ibuprofen,” Pearce says. “If it isn’t getting better, you probably ought to head in.”

As for Mortier, no longer just a weekend warrior, he’s determined this year’s Hoopfest won’t be a repeat of last year’s.

“It was terrible,” he says. “I just came home and collapsed … When you’re out of shape, it just makes all the difference in the world.”