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The Spokesman-Review Newspaper
Spokane, Washington  Est. May 19, 1883

Negotiating dating minefield



 (The Spokesman-Review)
Kat Olson Correspondent

Spring fever is in the air, and it seems that everyone is coupling up. Babies and puppies appear cuter than ever. The air is fresh and fragrant with the beautiful blooming flowers. All is alive and rich. Unless you are one of the tired few still trying to find a date in the Spokane area.

Before my current girlfriend, I was single for about 2 1/2 long years. Being single wasn’t exactly my choice, although I did come to appreciate my independence. There just weren’t many women to choose from or meet. I tried Dempsey’s, but I didn’t quite like the idea of meeting a future partner while sloshed. I was chair of the Student Alliance for Equality (the lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, questioning and allies group) at Eastern Washington University and, though I know this was taking advantage of my position, hoped to connect with more datable women via events and meetings. Then if I did happen to meet someone cool and interesting, she was already with someone or not interested.

It was frustrating. Talking with other women and men, I’ve found this sentiment to be universal. My friend Rebecca conceded that the dating scene in Spokane is pretty non-existent. She said that though “the bars aren’t promising, they are the only place you can go where you might find someone like you.”

Some of us have even gotten a bit desperate (you know who you are). I admit I put up a few Internet personals. It works for some people, but I didn’t quite trust who or what I would find, even though I did it.

Depending on friends can sometimes work, too. I met a few women via “Oh, you know so and so, me too!” We’ve heard the horror stories about being hooked up with a “great, cool friend, who you’ll just love” and come to find out she’s really, REALLY, not what you are looking for.

So what do we do to meet a sane, potential partner without risking too much? Get involved! Honestly. Being involved in SAFE was a good thing because I met more friends that helped me through singledom. There are several groups in the area that will more than likely fit your needs. Check out the Stonewall for a listing of area groups, such as a women’s outdoor group, religious groups and more.

Looking back, I probably dated more than I perceived at the time. So don’t despair, all you singles out there. Just get out and find activities that give you an opportunity to meet more people in our community. Remember to have fun, though, and don’t be too wrapped up in scouting out the scene that you miss everything else.

On a final note, it seems that Spokane is perking up in regards to having more resources and better information available. I recently received an e-mail saying a new Web site soon will include local resources, news, an events calendar, discussion forum and a personals section. Scott Wilburn, the designer of the site, also said the resources will be provided free of charge. He expects the Web site, www.outspokane.com, to be running by mid-June.