November sweeps
Big events, big guests and a post-baseball batch of new and returning shows: Must be the November sweeps, when the television networks go all out to please viewers – and attract ad dollars.
Among the highlights:
Tonight: The sweeps and Fox’s fall season get under way with the return of “The O.C.” (8 p.m.). Everyone should be happy to see the hot-blooded residents of Orange County cavorting once again – except, perhaps, “Joey.”
Sunday: Fox relaunches its Sunday lineup, with “King of the Hill” (7 p.m.), “Malcolm in the Middle” (7:30 p.m.), “The Simpsons” (8 p.m.), “Arrested Development” (8:30 p.m.) and the new “My Big Fat Obnoxious Boss” (9 p.m.). CBS counters with “Dallas Reunion: Return to Southfork” (9 p.m.).
Monday: NBC’s “Las Vegas” (9 p.m.) offers the conclusion of a “Crossing Jordan” crossover as Danny and Jordan join forces to solve the murder of a high-roller. No, it doesn’t make much sense, but the sweeps are often like that.
Tuesday: You don’t get to be a billionaire by being faint-hearted. Undeterred by the failure of Mark Cuban to copy Donald Trump’s TV success, Virgin’s Richard Branson makes his own duplicative attempt with “The Rebel Billionaire” (Fox, 8 p.m.).
Wednesday: It’s some sweeps for Jimmy Smits. On Tuesday, his Bobby Simone returns from the dead to haunt Andy on ABC’s “NYPD Blue” (10 p.m.). The next night, he joins the cast of NBC’s fast-fading “The West Wing” (9 p.m.).
Nov. 14: Nostalgic for the days of special-effects-driven miniseries? Closest you’ll get is CBS’ “Category 6: Day of Destruction” (9 p.m.), a two-parter about a “superstorm” that strikes Chicago. The movie may run into a ratings storm of its own: It airs opposite ABC’s “American Music Awards” (8 p.m.).
Nov. 16: CBS pits TV’s best reality series “The Amazing Race” (9 p.m.) against one of the new season’s more promising dramas, Fox’s medical mystery “House” (9 p.m.). Let’s hope there’s room for both.
Nov. 17: “Kevin Hill” star Taye Diggs coaches the ladies on UPN’s “America’s Next Top Model” (8 p.m.). The cumulative beauty will be practically blinding.
Nov. 21: What would sweeps be without a Hallmark Hall of Fame movie? CBS’ “Back When We Where Grownups” (9 p.m.) stars such great grownups as Blythe Danner, Faye Dunaway, Peter Fonda, Jack Palance and Peter Riegert.
Nov. 23: The WB premieres “Samantha: An American Girl Holiday” (8 p.m.). You can either see it as a family-friendly drama or as an extended commercial for the popular doll collection.
Nov. 24: It’s a pre-Thanksgiving night of musical idols. Start on NBC with “Tim McGraw: Here and Now” (8 p.m.), then switch to Fox for “Kelly, Ruben & Fantasia: Home for Christmas” (9 p.m.).
Nov. 25: When you’re done with the turkey, NBC hopes you’ll gather for “The Seinfeld Story “(10 p.m.). All four stars discuss the sitcom – and promote the new DVD.
Nov. 26: Speaking of sitcom stars, Valerie Harper and Joanna Kerns return as Owen’s lesbian mothers on ABC’s “Less than Perfect” (9:30 p.m.).
Nov. 28: Kelsey Grammer plays Scrooge for NBC in a new musical version of “A Christmas Carol” (9 p.m.). Jason Alexander, Jesse L. Martin, Jane Krakowski and Geraldine Chaplin come along for the ghostly ride.
Dec. 1: Dickens’ ghosts are not nearly as frightening as the prospect of another Jessica Simpson-Nick Lachey ABC special, “Nick & Jessica’s Family Christmas” (9 p.m.), with sister Ashlee Simpson and a 98 Degrees reunion. Be afraid – be very afraid.