Cultures collide at circumcision crossroads
Q: My husband I are expecting a baby boy in a couple of months. I’m Jewish, he’s not, and we have strong disagreements about circumcision. It’s a part of my culture, and I want to have a bris. My husband, however, feels strongly that circumcision is a form of mutilation. When we got married, we talked of blending our cultures and sharing our lives, but on this question there doesn’t seem to be any compromise. Don’t you think that since I’m doing the work of carrying the baby, I should get to choose?
Steve: I hope you agreed before you married which religion your children will follow. Your husband needs to understand the importance of the bris. It may be the only mitzvah (commandment) observed by Jews of every affiliation, even those who are not very religious. If your husband has health concerns, he can talk to a pediatrician. Circumcision was routine for all male babies born from the mid-1800s to the 1970s.
Mia: Hmmm. Have to admit that I have never seen an uncircumcised one, but I do remember the “Sex and the City” episode where Charlotte said one looked like a Shar-Pei. Ewww. That said, I’m sure that either way your son still will get laid as an adult.
Q: I’m 23 years old and searching for places to go and look for rela-
tionships. Can you help?
Steve: This always seems like such a mystery. All you need to do is get busy: Join clubs, go to parties, invite people to dinner, engage in activities outside of work, volunteer for a charity. Luck is the residue of design.
Mia: Who looks for a relationship? I would just try to look for some fun and see what happens. I had a friend who gave up looking for a boyfriend and started taking guitar lessons for kicks. She ended up falling in love with her guitar teacher.
Q: I believe that women have a hard time distinguishing where their emotional desires end and where reality begins. There is a new book called “He’s Just Not That Into You” that could help a lot of women avoid wasting time and energy on fantasies. There is nothing in this for me. I’m just a miserably married man convinced that the lack of honesty with oneself is why many people wind up married.
Steve: Women are more highly evolved than men and sometimes forget how amoeba-like we are. Men respond to only two stimuli: sex and food. This sad state of affairs leads to miscommunication, denial, unmet expectations, etc. But if we were all honest and never engaged in romantic fantasy, no one would ever hook up.
Mia: What’s the question here? Except perhaps why you’re staying in a miserable marriage? That’s on you, buddy.