Fantasy just as depressing as reality

I tried desperately to stay away from my television last week, to spend time on more important fall activities, such as raking leaves, baking yummy pies out of leftover Halloween pumpkins and starting my mandatory fall cleaning.

However, I found a few small kinks in my plan. I live in an apartment in New York City, and there are no leaves to rake. My pumpkin was about the size of a grapefruit and would not create an impressive pie, and the household cleaning just sounded like a painful undertaking, so I put it off for yet another week and parked my behind on the sofa for another dose of reality television.

First, Sunday night’s premiere on FOX of “My Big Fat Obnoxious Boss,” which puts a twist on NBC’s “Apprentice,” has corporate climbers performing bogus stunts at the request of a fake CEO for a shot at winning $250,000. If you think this show was created to provide humor and nothing more, then you would be right. I was cracking up when the contestants tasted what they thought were high-end delicacies at a cocktail party, while the food was actually nicely camouflaged Spam and bologna. Too funny!

The contestants’ first task was panhandling on the streets of Chicago. The men used a fictional charity as a way of raising money, while the ladies opted for short-shorts and an “I’m raising money for cheerleading camp” campaign. It proved successful and the girls won. Prize: an evening at home, sleeping on mattresses stuffed with $10,000. The mattresses turned out to be an extremely uncomfortable prize, and to further the ladies’ disappointment, they were not allowed to keep the loot.

The men weren’t too pleased either. When you lose in this game, you get punished. They spent the night in an abandoned lot in a bad section of Chicago, directly underneath the elevated train. Better luck next time, boys.

Moving on to another relatively false program, “Nanny 911” (Wednesday, FOX) also premiered last week. Is it me or did the nanny’s British accent seem really fake? And what was going on with her uniform? She looked more like a Denny’s waitress than a nanny. Setting that aside, I do feel that the family on this first episode benefited from her help.

The nanny was brought in to help the parents of two small children. The parents were total pushovers. The kids misbehaved and ignored any attempts at discipline. And what’s worse than that, the couple had not slept in the same bed in eight years. Ugh! Considering the horrible shape the parents were in, I feel like any attempt at shaking up this household would have been successful.

While I am not completely sold on this show, I do think it provides a little bit of necessary Parenting 101 for the folks out there who tend to let their little ones have tantrums in restaurants, theaters or airplanes without intervening. They also could provide helpful tips to the parents of kids who bite, kick or scream – and perhaps provide them with a better excuse than “Billy is not really like that. He’s usually sweet; maybe he’s teething.” Yes, most 11-year-old boys still have teething issues. Chew away, Billy.

I’m almost out of room, but check back next week for a review of the “$25 Million Dollar Hoax.”

There’s nothing like watching a close-knit family drool over the daughter’s millions … and the anger that ensues when she doesn’t share it with them.