Hi, my name is … my name is … King Michael?

MICHAEL JACKSON IS THREATENING to sue Eminem over the rapper’s new video, which depicts the self-proclaimed King of Pop playing with young children. The video for “Just Lose It” also pokes fun at Jackson’s plastic surgery and an incident when his hair caught fire while filming a Pepsi commercial 20 years ago.

Eminem appears made up as Jackson in the “Thriller” star’s trademark red leather jacket and trousers. In one scene, his nose falls off, and he’s seen scrambling around on the floor looking for it. In another, the Jackson character comes face to face with the real Eminem, and the rapper vomits all over him.

Later, Eminem raps: “Come here little kiddie, on my lap, guess who’s back with a brand new rap. And I don’t mean rap as in a case of child molestation.”

It ends with Eminem dressed as Jackson sitting on a bed with kids bouncing up and down behind him.

The video, which features cameo appearances by Paris Hilton and Erik Estrada, also pokes fun at Madonna, Pee-wee Herman and MC Hammer.

Well, he is an urban cowboy

Kirstie Alley will be joined in her upcoming Showtime series “Fat Actress” by John Travolta, who starred with her in the “Look Who’s Talking” films.

In the seven-episode, unscripted comedy series, which debuts in March, Alley plays a fictionalized version of herself, an actress whose growing weight problem has been well documented in supermarket tabloids.

Travolta’s actress-wife, Kelly Preston, also will guest star on the first episode.

That’s what you call Murphy’s law

Don’t hold your breath waiting for an appearance by Michelle Pfeiffer on husband David E. Kelley‘s latest TV show, “Boston Legal.”

Says Kelley: “We made one rule that we would try not to work together if possible. For example, I wrote a feature a year ago that I thought she would happen to be right for. She read it, she liked it, and the next day I was fired off the project.”

Didn’t Trump go to B.S. U?

Troy McClain, whom Donald Trump offered to send to the college of his choice after firing him during the first season of “The Apprentice,” is being recruited by several universities to star on their campuses.

McClain, who doesn’t have a college degree, has been contacted by Boise State University, Columbia University and Albertson College of Idaho over the past six months. He met with a Boise State academic counselor last week, but hasn’t made a final decision.

The Mead High School graduate, who lives in Boise, also has shot two TV pilots and is negotiating several other projects, his manager said.

But you’re better off copying Reege’s answers

And now, some shocking news from the world of higher learning: According to a recent survey, more New York college students would rather room with Kelly Ripa than “Live with Regis and Kelly” co-host Regis Philbin.

The survey showed 32 percent of students polled would like to share living quarters with Ripa, who also stars in ABC’s “Hope & Faith,” while only 1 percent chose Philbin. Conan O’Brien, Jon Stewart, David Letterman and Tony Danza followed Ripa in the results.

The birthday bunch

Comedian Nipsy Russell is 80. Actress Melinda Dillon is 65. Musician Paul Simon is 63. Country singer Lacy J. Dalton is 58. Actor Demond Wilson (“Sanford and Son”) is 58. Singer Sammy Hagar is 57. Actor John Lone (“Rush Hour 2”) is 52. Singer-actress Marie Osmond is 45. Actress T’Keyah Crystal Keymah (“That’s So Raven”) is 42. Actress Kelly Preston is 42. Actress Tisha Campbell-Martin (“My Wife and Kids,” “Martin”) is 36. Country singer Rhett Akins is 35. Singer Ashanti is 24.