Is her friend using the ‘virgin’ card?

Q: I have this male friend I’ve known for years. He’s a sweet, smart guy but kind of short and unattractive. Recently he revealed to me that he has never had sex. He asked me whether I would sleep with him if he is still a virgin on his 25th birthday (in six months). I don’t think he wants a relationship; he just really wants to lose his virginity. I’m not attracted to him, but I really care about him. What should I do?

Mia: Hmmmmm. Sleeping with an ugly 25-year-old virgin? I’d say, no way. Besides the whole ick factor, it would probably destroy your friendship. Maybe you could help him meet some other women, take him to some social events, introduce him to friends?

Steve: Ahh, the old “I’m still a virgin” trick. Haven’t heard that one in quite a while. Honey, don’t believe anything a man says when he wants to get into your pants.

Q: I’ve been dating this guy who I think has a drinking problem. For weeks, every other time I’ve seen him, he’s been hammered. But here’s what’s getting to me: When he’s drunk, he says all these really romantic things about how much he cares about me and wants to be with me and how special I am. But when he sobers up, he conveniently forgets that he ever said anything like that. Am I falling for a lying alcoholic? Should I get out now?

Steve: Yes and yes. And, no, you can’t change him.

Mia: And if you stick by as he drunkenly says, “You’re beautiful” or “I think you’re special,” and you believe him, then you may still be there when he says, “Sure I’ll feed your cat while you’re on vacation” or “I’d love to take you to dinner on your birthday.” Then when he forgets those sweet nothings, you’ll have a dead cat and no birthday celebration. How much would that suck?

Q: For months, I’ve been occasionally sleeping with a guy who has a girlfriend. I know it’s a bad idea, but I find him so attractive, and we have such amazing sex and such a great time together that I can’t help myself. He keeps saying he loves his girlfriend and what we have is just sex. But in the back of my head, I can’t help but wonder why he’s seeing me on the side if his relationship is so great. So I keep hanging around hoping he’s going to realize what we have and leave her for me. Is that ever going to happen?

Mia: Playing two girls like this? What a jerk. And you’re just letting him walk all over you. Look, if he was going to leave the girlfriend, he would have already, instead of treating you like crap and stringing you along. You should get out before you get even more hurt.

Steve: OK, let’s analyze this. He’s now having sex with two women. And you want to know what the chances are that he’ll decide to sleep with just one woman. The Magic Eight Ball says: “None.”