To cuddle or not to cuddle, that is the question

Q: A friend invited me to a “Cuddle Party” at his house. I’ve never heard of one before. Could you tell me what to expect?

Mia: Well, I haven’t been to such an event myself, but I hear they’re parties where adults put on pajamas and chastely fondle each other. One online guide I consulted said that kissing was allowed, but no dry humping. Sounds like a pretty lousy way to spend a Saturday night to me, but if you have the sexual development of a sixth-grader, knock yourself out.

Steve: If faced with such an invitation, I’d ask myself, what would Dick Cheney do? Would Dick Cheney go to a “Cuddle Party”? I think not.

Q: I’m pretty open-minded, but the guy I’m dating comes up with ever more exotic requests. His latest is for me to have phone sex while he listens in. We’ve been dating for nearly a year and he’s a sweetie in all other areas, but I’m about to draw the line.

Steve: What is this, fetish week? Drawing the line is important in any relationship. Don’t do anything you don’t feel comfortable with. If he’s as good as you say, he’ll respect your limits.

Mia: Come on Steve, every week is fetish week if you’re lucky! I don’t quite understand the request. Does he want you to have phone sex with another guy or with him? Another guy could be weird, but if your boyfriend wants to, you should give it a try. Talking about sex can be hot in a sleazy kind of way.

Q: My boyfriend left the biggest hickey I’ve ever seen on my neck last week. So embarrassing. Is there any way to get rid of them or hide them?

Mia: Ah, hickey coverage. The winter is easy: Just put on a turtleneck. But I’m afraid the summer can be tricky. Try some combination of heavy makeup, big necklace, or wrapping your hair around your throat. I don’t know any way to rid yourself of the marks except let them fade away. But if you learn the secret, let me know!

Steve: I was never clear on what was supposed to be enjoyable about a hickey in the first place. If anyone out there can explain why giving or getting a hickey is fun, drop me a line.