‘Sahara’ lukewarm

“Sahara” feels like it’s jammed with more stuff – characters, plot lines, sight gags, explosions, buddy banter and the romantic flutter of gorgeous people falling in love – than there are grains of sand in the desert.

It’s an overlong (if occasionally thrilling) environmentally conscious retread of an Indiana Jones flick, complete with a character who’s overly attached to his hat.

But mainly it’s a popcorn movie that’s crammed with eye candy: As Dirk Pitt, hero of the Clive Cussler novel on which “Sahara” is based, Matthew McConaughey’s tan gets darker, his biceps grow bigger and his teeth brighten to a blinding shade of white even as he propels himself deeper into danger.

Every bit his equal in the looks department is Penelope Cruz, who appears to have stepped straight from one of her Ralph Lauren ads no matter the predicament in which she finds herself. Formfitting khakis, tight tank tops and fashionably rumpled denim button-downs are the uniform when you’re Dr. Eva Rojas from the World Health Organization.

Dirk and his best pal, fellow explorer Al Giordino (Steve Zahn as the wacky sidekick), are hunting for a long-lost Civil War battleship carrying hidden treasure, which they believe ended up in West Africa.

At the same time and in the same region, Eva and her partner, Dr. Hopper (Glynn Turman), are hunting for the cause of a plague that has afflicted untold numbers of people.

Gee, do you think their searches could be connected? It’s an insane coincidence, but the first feature from director Breck Eisner (as in son-of-Michael) is chock full of them.

The two teams end up running into each other repeatedly, and while battling the unforgiving terrain – wide shots of which Eisner does capture beautifully – they also must fight sabotage attempts from a Malian warlord and Lambert Wilson, as industrialist Yves Massarde. “I’m so sick of being shot at!” Al screams at one point.

And that’s sort of the same sensation one experiences in the audience.