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The Spokesman-Review Newspaper
Spokane, Washington  Est. May 19, 1883

Neighbor will do anything for attention



 (The Spokesman-Review)
Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar Creators Syndicate

Dear Annie: I have a neighbor whom I will call “Flo.” Flo seems to enjoy and even thrive on the drama in her life. Her husband yells at her, throws things, and they just recently got into a physical fight. Since they were both swinging away, the police hauled both of them in.

They have two very young daughters who surely witnessed at least part of this altercation. Flo returned home that night. Two days later, her husband was back in the house, even though Flo informed all of her neighbors that had she not fought back, he would have killed her that night.

Flo makes sure everyone knows the details about every single fight they have and how horrible her husband is. Then the next minute, she says they are working things out and that she needs to spend more time with him.

I have sympathy for the little girls, and that is it. Annie, are there some people who just delight in this sort of upheaval? I am so sick of hearing her tales of woe. How do I handle it? – Annoyed in Maryland

Dear Maryland: Flo is so desperate to be the center of attention that she will do whatever puts her in that spot, good or bad. The next time Flo tells you about a fight, run to the phone and say you are reporting the incident to the local child welfare department. Then do it. Those kids deserve a stable home life, and instead, they are getting lessons in provocation and abuse. Also give Flo the number of the National Domestic Violence Hotline at (800) 799-SAFE (800-799-7233) (ndvh.org) in case she decides to get her act together and put those children first for a change.

Dear Annie: You printed a letter from “Concerned Friend,” whose friend perspired a great deal. Tell her to make sure to try an antiperspirant (not a deodorant) that contains an aluminum salt such as aluminum zirconium tetrachlorohydrex. She needs to apply the antiperspirant immediately after bathing with soap for it to be most effective, and she needs to repeat the process every 24 hours.

I’ve had three or four patients who were cured by this approach without ever having to proceed any further. If this doesn’t relieve the moisture to her satisfaction, she could then see a physician for additional treatment. – Andrew Hardy, M.D.

Dear Dr. Hardy: Many thanks for sharing your expertise. Here’s one more:

Dear Annie: While she is waiting to see the doctor, this girl can buy dress shields to protect her clothing and not show any perspiration spots. A lingerie store will likely have them, or she can find disposable shields at a fabric store. – Anchorage, Alaska

Dear Annie: Here’s a response to the letter from “Grieving in Torrance, Calif.,” that appeared in The Denver Post. She said her husband died, and after the funeral, people stopped calling and visiting.

I, too, lost a husband I dearly loved. It would be wonderful if people only realized the importance of a simple phone call. The world as you once knew it has gone, and though the initial activity keeps you busy, when that quiets down, reality sets in.

It took considerable effort on my part, but I began to work out regularly and got involved in activities where I’m making new friends and helping others in ways I never had time for before. It’s been energizing and rewarding. If I feel the need for company, I pick up the phone and see if a friend can join me for lunch or a movie. Life is quite different now, but it can still be fulfilling. – Been There in Colorado

Dear Colorado: You are so right. Sometimes the best medicine is learning to rely on yourself. Thanks for writing.