Yearlong fixation means intentions not all innocent

Dear Annie: I’ve been married to “Joe,” a wonderful man, for eight years. A year ago, I came across an old letter (from 10 years back) from a friend, “Mike.” Joe knows that I had a crush on Mike, but we never dated. In the letter, Mike (who is married, and was at that time he wrote it) said he wanted to catch up on lost time and said I should write or call “any time.”

Annie, since the discovery of the letter, I think about Mike all the time. I don’t want to cheat on Joe. I just want to know what Mike is up to these days. We were great friends back in the day.

I want to write Mike and possibly get together, with our spouses, but I have a feeling Joe won’t be too keen on the idea. He doesn’t know about the letter. Is it realistic for two people of the opposite sex to remain friends even though the spouses don’t know each other? – Contemplating a Reunion

Dear Contemplating: If your intention is simply to find out what happened to an old friend, it shouldn’t have all this skullduggery attached to it. Meeting up, with your spouses, is perfectly fine, as long as you are honest about it. The problem is, you have been fixated for a year on this old letter, which tells us you may be fantasizing about Mike. Don’t plan anything you’ll regret.

Dear Annie: I am a basketball cheerleader, make decent grades, am a nice person and popular. Here’s the problem: Guys don’t seem to like me. I mean, yeah, sure they like me as a friend, but nothing more.

I am going into seventh grade and would like to have a boyfriend. Every single one of the popular girls in my grade has had a boyfriend, but not me. I am not fat, nor am I ugly. Is there something wrong with me? – Young but Single

Dear Young: There is nothing wrong with you. In fact, you are better off without a boyfriend. This is a time for you to develop yourself instead of worrying about pleasing someone else. You will have plenty of opportunities for boyfriends, and it will help if you have a stronger sense of self when you find one. Hang in there.

Dear Annie: This is for “Robbed Blind in San Mateo, Calif.,” who thought her friend was stealing money from her purse during her facials.

The theft needs to be documented for two reasons. First, “Robbed Blind” needs to know for sure if her friend is stealing from her. Second, the thief needs to be caught and stopped. “Robbed Blind” should record the serial numbers of the bills in her wallet before she goes to the salon. Then, after departing, she should check to see if any money is missing. If so, she should call the police and report the theft. The thief will have a bill with a recorded serial number.

If “Robbed Blind” simply decides to stop going for facials, then the thief is free to steal from other people. – Ex-Cop in West Virginia

Dear Ex-Cop: When a family friend is involved, people are less likely to get the police involved, but thanks for your expert advice. Here’s more:

From Illinois: I once worked for a man who used to snoop around when I would leave to run errands. He read my mail and rummaged in my desk and purse. After several incidents, I left a note inside my desk drawer. It simply read, “Please get out of my desk.” I never had a problem again. Sometimes actions will cease when people realize they are not getting away with it.

Florida: There is a powder that can be sprinkled on a surface, such as a wallet, and if a person’s hand makes contact with the substance, a purple dye will permeate the skin. The dye won’t come off for several days. It is messy to work with, but it’s a sure-fire way of finding out the answer to the question.