Time to get professional help

Dear Diane: My husband, “Burt,” has changed so much since the birth of our daughter two years ago. He used to be kind and loving. Now he is hurtful and abusive – both to me and our daughter.

He blames me for everything. He does not want to work to support us. He gets a check every month, but that doesn’t go very far. He also checks out other women, but explodes into a rage if I even talk to another man.

Could it be that Burt is out of love with me? It feels like it. I try to remember the good times we used to have, and that helps me get through the stress.

Burt told me recently that if I ever left him, he would fight me for custody of our daughter. Why? He doesn’t hug her or take care of her or do anything with her.

I’m thinking of leaving him, but I don’t want to lose my child. Please help me. — Trapped in Tennessee

Dear Trapped: There’s not much I can actually do to help you, but there is someone who can — a lawyer.

I can tell by your letter that your finances are slim, so what you need to do is call your county courthouse and get the number to its Legal Aid department. You should be able to get free legal advice, and possibly even a lawyer.

Tell the lawyer about the abusive situation in your home. Find out about getting a restraining order against your husband. There needs to be a documented history of abuse in order to help you make the case for keeping custody of your child.

Also check the phonebook for information on shelters for abused women. If there is a family member you can live with for a month or two that would help, too.

I will pray for you, and I hope you can escape this man and live a better, safer life. Good luck.