Guaranteed to work

You know all of those e-mail messages about male virility, quality pharmaceuticals and psychic hotlines? They’re nothing new. A hunt through The Spokesman-Review and Spokane Chronicle of a century ago reveals that technology may have changed, but human nature has not. Many old advertisements play on exactly the same themes.

Male “vitality”: This particular “affliction” was addressed by many different names 100 years ago, including “male weakness,” “loss of strength,” and “nervous debility of men.”

By any name, it was clearly a huge pseudo-medical industry in the first two decades of the last century. One single page of The Spokesman-Review in 1915 had seven separate ads touting cures for “weak men.”

One of the most alarming “cures” was Dr. McLaughlin’s Electric Belt. This battery-operated device, strapped around the waiste was guaranteed to restore a man’s “old time vim and energy.”

A similar belt contraption, Dr. Sanden’s Electric Herculex, was touted as a cure not just for “male weakness,” but for rheumatism and “wrecked stomach” as well.

“You put it on when going to bed, and take it off when arising in the morning,” said the Electric Herculex ad of 1905. “It fills you with new life and electrifies every nerve and drop of blood in the body.”

The Norton Davis Medical Co. of Spokane decried such “quack cure-alls.” Instead, it promised to “restore men to permanent strength” through medicine and surgery.

Some ads were not coy at all. One ad was for the unambiguously named Lincoln Sexual Pills: “Use them and you will rejoice in strength, nerve vigor and manly magnetism.”

Female cures: Lydia Pinkham’s Vegetable Compound was just the stuff for all manner of female problems. It was advertised as “a woman’s remedy for woman’s ills.”

A similar “medicine” called Dr. Williams Pink Pills for Pale People was advertised as “restoring shattered nerves” and other “troubles peculiar to females, such as suppressions, irregularities and all forms of weakness.”

It was especially touted as a treatment for girls “developing into womanhood.”

“Pallor, loss of spirits, depression, lack of ambition and shortness of breath are some of the symptoms,” said a 1910 ad.

Men did not have a corner on alarming “medical” contraptions.

“Every woman is interested and should know about the wonderful Marvel Whirling Spray,” said one 1905 ad. “The new vaginal syringe. Injection and suction. Best – safest – most convenient.”

However, ads for “men’s weakness” vastly outnumbered those for “women’s complaints,” which begs the question: Which was considered the weaker sex in those days?

Psychic readings: Spokane residents in 1905 could pay a visit to Prof. Francis, at his rooms in the Rainier-Grand Hotel on Riverside Avenue. There, he promised to tell you how to “gain success in love, courtship, marriage and divorce.”

Madame Palma, “the greatest living dead-trance medium, clairvoyant and psychic palmist,” went beyond mere romance. Her ad said that her advice had “made many wealthy.”

Prof. Sterling, on the corner of Monroe and Sprague, noted that palmistry is “an exact science.”

Beauty treatments: In 1905, Professor Cristion of Paris, France, advertised his scientific lecture, “Beauty Culture and Facial Blemishes” at the Spokane Theater. Admission: 50 cents.

Women could also find some beauty help of a more mechanical nature with the Nemo Wonderlift corset, which “uplifts, supports and holds in place the vital internal organs.” The ad further claims that it “prevents, relieves and often cures the ills peculiar to women.”

Not to mention that it provided bust enhancement.

The Nemo Self-Reducing corset performed the same magic, but for “stout women.”

Male pattern baldness: “Don’t Worry About That Bald Spot,” blares an ad for Newbro’s Herpicide.

This miracle ointment claims to kill the “dandruff germ” that causes baldness.

The all-time, all-around germ-killer: Duffy’s, the best “spring tonic” ever invented, was said to destroy disease germs and “bring the blessings of health to overworked men, delicate women and sickly children.”

“It makes the old feel young and keeps the young strong and vigorous,” said the 1910 ad. “It is prescribed by doctors and is recognized as a family medicine everywhere.”

And what, exactly, was Duffy’s tonic?

Straight malt whiskey, “absolutely pure and unadulterated.”

100 years ago in the Inland Northwest: A streetcar on the Hillyard line lost power on Hamilton Street and slowly ground to a halt – at the worst possible spot.

It stopped on the Great Northern railroad line, just at the time a switch engine was coming down the track. The engine plowed into the streetcar, which had nearly 100 people on board. About 20 riders were hurt, including a nurse who remained unconscious for hours, but eventually recovered.

Witnesses said the streetcar’s trolley (the device that attaches to the overheard wire) slipped off the wire about 50 feet from the crossing.

In merrier news, Spokane merchants were reporting their busiest-ever Christmas in 1905. Many of the best-selling items were luxury goods, including jewelry, silverware, cut china, gold-plated clocks, and “aluminum-lined cigar boxes made of wood and leather, with special arrangements for keeping cigars moist.”

One merchant was quoted as saying, “Smoking jackets and dressing gowns are, of course, popular for the holiday trade.”

Why was the Christmas season so lucrative?

The manager of the The Crescent said it was because of “the general prosperity of the country and the wonderful growth and expansion of our own city.”