Change best when left undeclared

I‘ve never known anyone who’s kept a New Year’s resolution but that doesn’t stop us from making them every year. It’s an automatic ritual that offers us hope and a promise that in the next year things will be different. But what if this time we resolve not to make any resolutions and celebrate what is instead of what we wish was?

Celebration is the key here. That’s why we have parties, so we can mark the end of another year and all the things that have happened. I never looked at it that way before. I saw it as celebrating the New Year, which hasn’t even happened yet. Heck, forget the New Year – I was celebrating midnight and didn’t give much thought to what came next or before it. But this year I find myself thinking more about where I’ve been and where I’m going, instead of all I want to change.

Don’t get me wrong – I’ll still be adjusting my diet and exercising more – that’s the beauty of a fresh start. But I’ve realized over time that these are lifestyle changes not just part of a new week or year. I’ve also learned that I’m more successful with these changes if I’m quiet about them. By announcing and declaring them, we set ourselves up for failure. Our energy goes into the talking and wanting instead of the actual doing and living.

I’m not saying that wanting more is a bad thing. It’s natural and something that I believe keeps us focused and healthy. If we accept too much of what is and not raise the bar, we become stagnant and boring. This is why we make resolutions, because we are craving some kind of change in our lives. And change is a wonderful thing because it inspires us to grow in ways that build character and strength of heart. The harder the change, the more rewarding it is because of the effort it took.

As I reflect on where I am now, I think about the people who aren’t coming with us into the new year. I saw a young family on Christmas Eve whose mother died last spring, and also thought of my cousin who died last summer. We wish that we had more time with them. But instead of focusing on what can’t be, I want to honor them by recognizing that time is precious, and we need to celebrate every minute we are alive.

That’s where I exist at the moment – in a place of great contentment. None of it came without its growing pains and plenty of tears during times that I thought things weren’t happening or changing fast enough. It wasn’t until I slowed down and embraced the solitude that had become my life that I was able to start the journey. It was in the silence that I stopped talking and planning and realized that growth has to occur within before change is possible.

A new year is simply an evolution of the last one – part of the journey that makes up our lives. By embracing where we’ve been, we can appreciate more where we are now. The only thing we can count on for sure is that change will always be part of the journey. We don’t need to announce or declare it – we just need to live it.