Nice guys don’t spike drinks

Fri., Feb. 18, 2005

Steve and Mia Knight Ridder

Q: My friend went on a date with a man she believes drugged her drink. When she returned from the restroom her drink tasted oily and odd. She then became quite sick. He offered to take her to his apartment, but she insisted he bring her to my house, which was nearby.

Now here’s the crazy part: She said except for the drink, he seemed like a nice guy. She’s considering going out with him again. I think it’s not worth the risk. What do you think?

Steve: There is no education in the second kick of a mule. She should forget the creep.

Mia: Except for the drink he was a nice guy? That is beyond stupid. Who knows what he might try next time? She may not be so lucky. Tell her to rethink her personal safety.

Q: I want to do something romantic and special for my girlfriend, but I think flowers and candy are so predictable.

Any suggestions for something that will really sweep her off her feet?

Mia: Hey, if you want to take her to Paris or go up in a hot air balloon or something, I’m sure that would be great. But news flash: Every woman I know loves getting flowers, candy and other “predictable” things such as candlelight dinners or a trip to the opera. Ultimately, she just wants to know that you care about her. So don’t try too hard to go over the top. It’s not what’s important.

Steve: Normally I’d suggest two tickets to a hockey game, but the NHL is on strike. Just kidding! I can’t think of anything better than dinner in a quiet romantic restaurant with champagne and perhaps a hotel room afterward.

Q: While my live-in girlfriend was on a two-week ski vacation, I had a little slip-up. I was chatting with a woman I met in a bar, and we ended up making out in the corner for about an hour. Nothing more happened, but I feel kind of guilty about it.

Should I say anything to my girlfriend when she returns?

Steve: I’m struggling to find the upside in this sort of confession. Tell your priest instead, and pray no one you know was in the bar.

Mia: I think I’d want to know about something like this. But if it really was a one-time deal and there was no sex, you may want to just live with the guilt. Still, think about why you slipped up in the first place. Do you really want to be with your girlfriend? Or are you trying to get out of the relationship? Figure it out and commit to her or break up. It’s only fair to both of you.

Q: How safe are dating services? What about online dating? Are the paid services better than the free ones?

Mia: I’ve got zero experience in this department. Although I think I read once that Mel Gibson met his wife through a dating service, so dare to dream, ladies. I do know some people who have met great dates through Web sites such as match.com or eHarmony.com, so you could try it.

Steve: A good friend of mine met the love of her life on matchmaker.com. “Speed dating” is an interesting option because you meet a lot of people all at once and can follow up on the ones you like. But whether you use a paid or free service, make the first meeting a short one, say for a cup of coffee, and in a public place.

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