Judge not the oddly dressed child

Dear Dr. Gott: When my sister became pregnant, she hoped her baby would be a girl. It wasn’t. Now that he is 3 years old, his mother insists on making him look like a girl-child: long, wavy hair, feminine clothing and so forth. Will all this programming lead my nephew into a life of sexual compromise or, worse yet, homosexuality?

Dear Reader: I don’t know; the jury is still out on this issue.

Some authorities believe that homosexuality is genetic, while others argue that this orientation is the product of early learning. To expand on this theory I offer the following.

I have a patient whose first male son carries what I view as a burden. He is an intellectually active, extremely popular, well-adjusted sixth-grader who is a soccer star and a favorite of his teachers, but, to my dismay, wears earrings.

There are those who would insist that he is being programmed to be feminine. I disagree. While I don’t have a clue about his eventual sexual preferences (nor can anyone make this prediction), I encourage him to continue as is, despite the earrings. I feel as strongly about this as I would viewing a young girl with a crew cut, sporting a tattoo and wearing work boots. Really, what is important here?

I would rather my son or daughter be successful in school, popular and athletic, than to get hung up with jewelry, clothing and other feminine or masculine accessories.

So, to answer your question indirectly, I urge you to remain nonjudgmental about your nephew and his mother. If she loves and supports him, he will grow to be a confident and creative adult. Whether or not he chooses a gay lifestyle is immaterial.

Dear Dr. Gott: I had a case of shingles several months ago that left me with constant pain over one side of my face. I am currently taking 600 milligrams of neurontin to relieve the discomfort, but the drug is only a partial solution. What’s my next best option?

Dear Reader: About 10 percent of patients with herpes zoster (shingles) develop a dreaded consequence of the infection: chronic nerve pain that may be permanent. The precise cause of this complication is unknown, and it is extremely difficult to treat.

Before considering surgery to deactivate the offending nerve(s), you may be helped by progressively increasing your dose of neurontin – under the supervision of your doctor, of course. At present, you are taking a relatively small amount that could easily be doubled. Ask him about this.

To give you related information, I am sending you a copy of my Health Report “Managing Chronic Pain.” Other readers who would like a copy should send a long, self-addressed, stamped envelope and $2 to Newsletter, P.O. Box 167, Wickliffe, OH 44092. Be sure to mention the title.