Breakup has us wondering who will last
News of the breakup of Jennifer Aniston and Brad Pitt’s storybook marriage left us reeling in disbelief.
“Why, why, why?” our cries echoed as we questioned the morality of a universe that could allow such golden, unbelievably attractive humans to dissolve a partnership that has provided countless tabloid headline writers with such meaningful work.
People magazine and Us Weekly both hit newsstands with special editions Tuesday. Us devoted 31 pages to Aniston and Pitt; People 12.
Both magazines had sidebars titled “The Angelina Factor,” citing rumors that Pitt may have had an extramarital affair with “Mr. and Mrs. Smith” co-star Angelina Jolie.
“It’s the biggest story since Jennifer Lopez and Ben Affleck broke up,” said Janice Min, Us Weekly’s editor in chief, adding: “The interest in Brad and Jen is going to stay pretty hot for a while. They’re the most beloved people in Hollywood.”
Not prepared to submit ourselves to such a blow again, we took a quick look at some of Hollywood’s remaining high-profile relationships and wondered, “Will they last?”
We asked our Celebrity Split-o-Meter:
Jessica Simpson/Nick Lachey
State of the union: Rumors of the singers’ impending doom have been on a slow boil for months now.
Split-o-Meter says: “Acrimonious Divorce: Nick & Jessica” is MTV’s next big reality hit.
Ellen DeGeneres/Portia de Rossi
State of the union: Both actresses ditched longtime loves with the lightning speed rarely seen outside rocket cars and Catherine Zeta-Jones’ legal team.
Split-o-Meter says: There’s always someone younger and blonder.
Will Smith/Jada Pinkett-Smith
State of the union: The Smiths marked seven years of marriage on New Year’s Eve. That’s like a golden anniversary in Hollywood years.
Split-o-Meter says: Stability is boring. Next.
Cameron Diaz/Justin Timberlake
State of the union: Diaz recently clocked a paparazzo and took off with his camera. But she still shows more maturity and restraint than Timberlake’s ex, Britney Spears.
Split-o-Meter says: Holding pattern.
Jennifer Lopez/Marc Anthony
State of the union: Lopez and Anthony have never “officially” acknowledged their marriage, but between them, they have three ex-spouses and more messy entanglements than the “Dynasty” DVD box set.
Split-o-Meter says: If a union crashes, but no one ever admitted it existed, does it still make a sound?