Cops turning lemonade into lemons

Sandpoint’s Finest has brought another desperado to justice. Seems the offender was flouting the law in broad daylight until turned in by a bystander. Officer Giese collared the miscreant Tuesday at 1st and Pine and demanded to see a permit for – (drum roll, puh-leez) the child’s lemonade stand. This, according to the Bonner County Sheriff’s Dispatch. The kid had permission to set up shop on private property. But, alas, he had no permit to sell his sweet summer elixir on Sandpoint’s sidewalks. So, he was forced to spend his entire profits up to that moment to continue to operate: $10 in small bills and change. Dunno which is worse: an all-inclusive law that robs an industrious youngster of the few bucks he’s earned in an American apple pie way? Or a busybody whistleblower?

More Sandpoint justice

Sandpointer Tony Rosen wasn’t surprised when he read about the great Lemonade Stand Bust in Huckleberries Online. Last summer, he was pulled over on his way to work by another SPD Blue. Seems Tony was riding his bicycle on the wrong side of the road. The cop told Tony the stop was for his safety, although there were no cars on the road except the officer’s Expedition. Mebbe Sandpoint police have quotas for harassing bikers and lemonade stands … And there’s more. Henry Johnston, now a UI student, recalls building a hotdog stand in Sandpoint High’s wood shop, with plans to make a few bucks at the town’s “Lost in the ‘50s” celebration. Only City Hall wanted $10 for a permit to sell the dogs. Sound familiar? Also Henry needed a proper tax identification number and business organization documents if he coined a catch phrase like “Henry’s Hot Dogs” to promote his poor-man’s steaks. Now, older and wiser, Henry summed up his feelings about his hometown Lemonade/Hot Dog Gestapo in an e-mail: “Shame on Sandpoint.” Bingo.

Wanted: Help, good lovin’

A 47-year-old hunka burnin’ love with green eyes and a horseshoe mustache is alookin’ for a helpmate when he gets out of the Washington prison at Monroe in October. My niece Kelly from central California is still laughing about the Nickel’s Worth personal in which White Cowboy listed his attributes: weightlifting, romancin’, fishin’, ridin’, etc. And, oh yeah, “locked up first time in life.” Quipped Kelly, with a roll of her eyes: “That’s a real deal sealer.” But I wouldn’t bet against Cowboy. Most men are reclamation projects anyway – and this one comes with a ranch, horses and cows. Stay tuned.

Femme transplants easy to spot

Stopthecrazygrowth, a regular Huckleberries Online commenter, tells how he distinguishes femme transplants from homegrown North Idaho wimmen: 1. Blond hair (at least for this month). 2. Drives a $40,000 Chevy Yukon which has never been in four wheel drive. 3. Wears an Old Navy baseball cap with her ponytail sticking out the back. 4. Double parks in front of Starbucks for her midmorning saunter in for a double latte. 5. Has a golden retriever with a red bandanna around its neck (and insists on taking the dog to public events). 6. Her idea of a good burger is one cooked on Reynolds wrap on hubby’s $2,500 gas grill. And: 7. Her favorite Wine? “I’m bored here.” Remind you of anyone?

Huckleberries

On a walk along Kootenai Cutoff Road Friday morning, Kootenai’s Cis Gors spotted a truck swaying in traffic. As it passed her, she noticed it was a Verizon truck and, sure enough, the driver was talking on his cell phone. Be careful out there … Overheard (on police scanner Friday p.m.): CPD Blue: “Question of the Day: Are thongs allowed on Coeur d’Alene’s City Beach?” As necks all over CdA craned to hear the answer, the dispatcher replied: “Affirmative.” You can exhale now … Bumpersnicker: On the tailgate of an old primered black pickup, driven by a shirtless, blond, tanned teen boy in CdA: “No shoes, no shirt, no problem” … “When I read obituaries of an elderly long-married couple who’ve died within days of each other then I know love is real and monogamous love transcends any words I can possibly type here” – Bob Salsbury/Random Shallow Thoughts … On an orange VW belonging to The Scissor Goddess, a license-plate holder declared to one and all in CdA’s Fourth Street parking lot Wednesday: “I’m a beautician, not a magician” … “I was in a “sleeper cell” once. Only then, it was referred to as fourth-period Social Studies class” – Rant ‘n Rave with CdADave blog.

Parting shot

You may know that Martha Stewart is planning to produce a show this fall along the lines of Donald Trump’s “The Apprentice.” But did you know that she doesn’t plan to be as harsh as Trump? People will still be sent packing, but Martha has decided to use nicer ways to say: “You’re fired!” If someone’s from Idaho, for example, she said she could say: “You’re back in Boise for apple-picking time.” Apple picking? Southern Idaho? Seems Martha knows how to prepare potatoes 20 ways to Sunday but she musta forgotten where they come from during those long months locked up in minimum security.