People we put on a pedestal

We never stop hearing about who is or isn’t a good role model for kids. That’s understandable. But what about adults? Don’t they need role models, too? Bookstore shelves groan with self-help volumes. Magazines offer breathless advice on how we can improve our lovemaking and grout application techniques. And politicians, pastors and TV psychologists endlessly offer prescriptions for betterment.

But sometimes it’s simpler than all that. Sometimes, when watching someone else, we see the person we would like to be.

Maybe your role model is a co-worker who exudes honesty and courage.

Perhaps your self-improvement goals are personified by a national figure known for blazing talent, toughness or tenacity.

Or maybe your inspiration isn’t even a real person.

Carlotta Szabo, an English teacher at Rogers High School, wouldn’t mind being more like Atticus Finch, the honorable lawyer at the center of Harper Lee’s “To Kill a Mockingbird.”

“His integrity,” she said.

Les Grammer, a network services manager at Washington State University, reveres the indomitable character played by actor Tim Robbins in the 1994 movie, “The Shawshank Redemption.”

The list goes on.

Children, knowing little about the nuances of real life, sometimes get star-struck by atrocious people who happen to excel in high-profile fields. It can be difficult for kids to consider the possibility that someone who can dunk a basketball might also be a reprobate.

That’s too confusing.

But for grown-ups, a role model need not be a perfect paragon of virtue. And that person needn’t invite unfettered hero worship.

For instance, creative types might admire artist Bill Watterson – the father of the landmark “Calvin & Hobbes” comic strip – for his refusal to sell out and his shunning the spotlight. Those same fans might acknowledge that his reportedly prickly personality could make him someone they wouldn’t necessarily want to have a beer with.

So you might wish to emulate one facet of an individual’s personality while rejecting others.

Let’s say you have a co-worker whose job performance doesn’t wow you. But this person is unfailingly forthright in all matters of office politics, and you find yourself wishing you could say the same about yourself. Well, you could view that individual as a niche role model.

Sometimes though, you run across someone who offers the whole package.

Chances are, you’ve had that experience. You observe the real deal in action and are so impressed with that person’s intelligence, grace and modesty that you can’t help but yearn to be more like that yourself.

That’s hardly a rip-off or an insult. You know what they say about imitation.

Occasionally a career mentor fills the bill.

Judi Young, head of the Inland Northwest Blood Center, named her longtime boss in Hawaii, Dr. Julia Frohlich.

“She taught me how to work with people at all levels,” said Young.

Bosses can offer different kinds of lessons, however. “A role model need not be only good,” said Jacque Hendrix, who works in hotel security.

His current boss is outstanding, he said. But he once worked for someone who was practically a walking clinic in “How not to be.”

Usually, though, a role model is a behavioral polestar.

For Rockford’s Gail Kopp, it’s the late author Laura Ingalls Wilder.

“Anyone who has read her books or the biography of her life will know that she passed on to her readers a love of adventure, and a lesson in perseverance, honesty and faith,” said Kopp, who helps run a family auto dealership. “I sometimes will read parts of them when I am discouraged, just to get things in perspective.”

Karen Cecil, who works for Spokane Public Schools, said politician Laurie Dolan is one of her touchstones.

“When she ran against Jim West, she knew all of the information that is currently in the news and did not use it in her campaign,” said Cecil.

But do adults really need special personalities to show them the way? Isn’t it enough to know right from wrong and be committed to excellence and hard work?

Maybe. Still, there’s something to be said for someone indirectly pointing the way to a better you.

Janet Culbertson counts herself lucky to know just such an individual.

“The person I look up to is my friend, Vicki,” she said. “We both retired from United Airlines and will be losing part of our pensions next month. Vicki has kept my feet on the ground with her sense of humor and positive outlook on life. She always makes me feel like there is a rainbow right around the corner, and I won’t see it sitting around feeling sorry for myself.”

Sometimes the model behavior is exhibited by virtual strangers.

Becky Schmidlkofer, who coaches kids’ baseball in her off hours, has seen some inspiring conduct in the world of youth sports – a milieu often regarded as a hotbed of abysmal behavior.

“There have been many times when I have been impressed with the way another adult handled a situation and saved it from getting ugly,” she said.

Of course, there’s such a thing as complacency. And it would be a mistake to assume that absolutely everybody burns with a desire to improve.

For those open to the possibility that they have yet to achieve perfection, though, someone else’s appealing traits or winning style can be a prototype.

Change for the better is always easier said than done. But sometimes, when we actually know our role model, there’s a powerful incentive to be the best we can be – we don’t want to disappoint this person we venerate.

When Spokane’s Toni Pille worked in a medical office with nurse Jean Merrill, she came to respect her on multiple levels. And so Pille set for herself a basic goal: “To never have her find me in the wrong place at the wrong time.”

“Be yourself” is usually good advice.

But that doesn’t mean we can’t learn from those we admire.