Cut your losses and lose the loser

Q: I have been dating this guy for almost three years, and we are now engaged. He sent me flowers every week when we lived in different states. Recently he told me about a woman he had been sleeping with while we were dating. I found out later that he was engaged to her at the same time we were engaged. He now has promised to be true. Behind his back I picked his unopened mail out of the garbage, read it and called someone who sent him something. I learned that he had a business deal fall apart because they found out he was deceiving two women at the same time. Is this relationship worth continuing or should I move back home to Pennsylvania? I moved to another state to live with him and his mother.

Steve: I’ll go out on a limb and suggest that a relationship that features lies, betrayal and garbage- picking does not project as a long-lasting happy marriage. I say cut your losses.

Mia: He was engaged to someone else at the same time as you? AND he still lives with his mother? What a loser. Move back to Pennsylvania immediately, honey.

Q: My husband drives me crazy. When we go to dinner he looks at all the customers, the wait staff, the decor. His attention seems everywhere except on me. It’s demeaning and ruins the evening. We’ve been married 10 years. Solutions?

Mia: Tell him how you feel and that when you’re out to dinner together, he must choose between you and the wait staff, or you’re never going out in public with him again. You also might want to smack him upside the head for good measure.

Steve: The attention span of the average male is directly related to how long you’ve known him. Thus, first date equals 100 percent attention. By the time you get to 30 years of marriage, however, a husband might not realize for six months that his wife has left him. Trainers put blinders on horses to make them look straight ahead. A smart woman must do the same, either verbally or with a smack in the head.

Q: Here’s an etiquette question. My fiancé and I are arguing about who should come to the wedding. I have two male friends whom I slept with many years ago but have been just friends with ever since. They are now married to others. My fiancé says no former lovers. What do you say?

Mia: Some of us stay friends with exes, and your fiancé should respect that.

Obviously you’re marrying him, so he doesn’t need to worry. Reassure him that it’s all in the past and that he needs to trust you.

Steve: If it were a dinner party, I’d agree. But this is your wedding. The last thing you need is to start off a marriage with bad feelings, even if your fiancé is a bit irrational on this subject.