Widower finds healing in students
Construction paper of every color tumbled from inside the manila envelope Ralph Tate found in his mailbox, puzzling the 83-year-old widower.
A closer look revealed childlike writing in pencil, cutouts of flowers and butterflies, even a neatly folded piece of paper with the promise of a present inside. As Tate read, his smile grew.
“Ten years ago, I had a four-way heart bypass that took three hours,” he said Monday. “I got this letter packet, and those kids rejuvenated my heart in five minutes.”
The package was from Carolyn Keefer’s second-grade class at Ramsey Elementary. Tate routinely sends the class Campbell’s soup labels, which they collect like Green Stamps toward playground equipment. He’s saved labels for Keefer, a friend through his church, for years, although he’s never met her students.
In January, Tate stepped up his attentions, trying to find Keefer’s classroom a better piano than it has now and sending the kids sprouting potatoes they can watch grow.
Tate’s wife, Margaret, died in December.
“It’s been a lesson as much for me as for the children,” Keefer said. “Some of the loneliest people are right next to us, and we need to take the time to visit with them.”
Tate was right to follow his instinct to connect more with people, said Joel Hughes, director of the Dirne Community Health Clinic. The clinic is applying for a grant this week to start a mental health program for the oldest segment of the population.
Statistics collected by Hughes to make his point for the grant show that senior men in Idaho commit suicide at six times the national rate and that Idaho’s projected growth rate between 2000 and 2020 in the 60-plus age group is more than 200 percent. Idaho also ranks second in the nation for inadequate access to mental health care. Dirne wants to improve those numbers, Hughes said.
“Evidence shows you improve mental health among seniors, and it impacts cardiovascular and other health systems,” he said. “He (Tate) is a great example of exactly what we’re trying to do.”
Teaching children to reach out to the oldest generation also is important, Keefer said. It wasn’t a lesson she had planned, but life dropped it in her lap. Keefer attended Margaret Tate’s funeral and explained to her students why she was missing school that day.
After Ralph Tate began sending potatoes and showing increased interest in the class, Keefer suggested the kids thank him. Last month, the children wrote their own messages, and Keefer refrained from editing them.
“I’ve lost one to, thoe it is hard to not to cry I’m very sad for you and I. I’ve lost my mom,” wrote one little girl, who covered her card in pink and green flowers.
“Thank you for the potatoes. I love watching the potatoes grow. The class loves the soup labels and I do to!” wrote another student.
Children sent sympathies and gratitude with refreshing candor that delighted Tate. He sent them a thank-you note within days and now is planning an end-of-the-year visit to Keefer’s class.
“The class is so excited about meeting him and spending the day with him,” Keefer said. “Life is too hurried. This has been a good lesson for all of us.”