Put child-raising tips on fridge
Dear Annie: I am the single, male parent of an 11-year-old daughter who has never given me a lick of trouble. Last week, while at a store, an unruly and truly annoying little boy threw a fit because his mother wouldn’t purchase a particular item. As a last-ditch effort to get what he wanted, the little boy looked his mother squarely in the face and called her a four-letter word.
I was appalled. I’m not a perfect parent, but I’d like to contribute a few child-raising standards that have worked with my daughter:
“ Treat your child with respect. In order to earn respect, you must give it first. Teaching a child to respect others is also teaching a child to respect herself.
“ Babies are babies. A 2-year-old cannot be expected to sit still at a table and act like an adult. Know what is age-appropriate behavior.
“ Communicate with love. When a child is having a tantrum, set him down to think about it and understand the reason. It’s important to make them realize whose problem it really is and how they can help themselves solve it. If the tantrum persists, send the child to his room, and remember, 15 minutes is like an hour to a toddler.
“ Set guidelines, standards and schedules. Bedtime is bedtime, bath time is bath time, homework time is homework time. Once in a while, a little extra awake time is a good reward for doing a chore, etc. If they’re too young to make their bed, make it for them, but have them place the pillows, etc., so they feel they’re capable of making worthy contributions.
“ Set goals. Buy a piggy bank. Teach the rewards of saving for something they can truly call their own. Learning the value of money and good decision-making at an early age is priceless.
“ Teach your child the word “no” – and stick with it.
“ Identify and choose your battles. Be prepared to give in. It’s OK to forfeit the silly conflicts.
“ Let them grow. Give them responsibility. Allow them to pick out an outfit, a hair ribbon or the color of their toothbrush.
“ Educate, educate, educate. Don’t be a wimp. Drugs, sex and menstrual cycles are a part of life. Grow some spine and hit it head-on. Let them know bit by bit what this world is about before the world does it without you knowing.
“ Gain their trust. Always tell them you love them and that your world is so much better with them here. Teach your child that no matter how bad something may be that she can always come to you, no matter what, because you love her more than anyone. Never judge. Never be acid tongued. Never say never. – Trenton, N.J.
Dear Trenton: You have given some excellent advice, and we hope our readers will grab a few magnets and stick your words on the fridge for future reference.
Dear Annie: I am 51 years old and getting married (for the second time) to the man of my dreams. I want to wear something special, not a dowdy old ladies’ suit. Would a traditional long gown look silly? – Young-at-Heart Bride from Ohio
Dear Bride: While we wouldn’t go for the frilly look, you certainly can wear a long, elegant white gown if you so choose. Congratulations to you both.
Dear Annie: Tell “Still Brewing in Michigan” to lighten up. I took off my wedding band 49 years ago because it was too dangerous to wear at work. I could sever a finger if it got caught in machinery. My wife fully understood, and after 50 years of marriage, it proves a little band of metal is not necessary for a loving and loyal commitment. – Ten Fingers in Ohio
Dear Ohio: Several men told us they don’t wear wedding rings because of the danger of getting them caught while working. Our thanks to all who wrote.