Our reluctance to pass judgment mind-boggling

Judgment is such a funny word.

Mayor Jim West said this week he used “poor judgment.”

Some Spokane residents say they want to avoid “a rush to judgment.” Or, leaning on the Bible, they say, “I’m not one to judge.” They paraphrase a well-loved verse of scripture, saying “Let him who is without sin cast the first stone.”

I’m not in a rush, either. I find value in taking time to thoughtfully process this news about our mayor. Newspaper reporters and editors close to the story have had months to understand it, the rest of us only a few weeks.

Nor do I advocate stoning the mayor. Individually, we all have to sort out our personal reactions to the behavior he admits. But, as a community, we can’t abdicate our responsibility to make any judgments at all.

Avoiding judgment, or leaping too quickly to forgiveness, as a deep-thinking and devout friend of mine says, can turn us into enablers. We wind up allowing destructive behavior to continue.

We’re the voters and the taxpayers of this city – we’re exactly the ones who must reach a judgment in this case. We can’t stand back and wait for the almighty or the court system to tell us what to think. We must grapple with this issue in our own minds and come to – here’s that word again – a judgment.

It doesn’t surprise me that many of the first and loudest voices of judgment were those of mothers. One must develop the skill of making snap judgments just to keep a 4-year-old alive. One traditional, swift reprimand: “Young man, you cut that out right now.”

Many men in the community seemed more inclined to give the mayor some time to reach his own conclusions, to discuss negotiations for an exit strategy involving pension and health care and to craft a few discreet words of disapproval. This week one of the more strongly worded statements came from the Spokane Regional Chamber of Commerce and the Spokane Regional Convention and Visitors Bureau. CEOs in those groups pointed out they would not have their jobs today if they’d done what Jim West admits. “We believe that the community needs a new CEO,” they said.

There are numerous reasons for discretion, for the attention to nuance and strategy and the avoidance of outright censure.

One of them, though, I find particularly fascinating. Ever since “the me decade,” it’s been unpopular to be seen as “judgmental.” You hear it in pop psychology, in parenting texts and PTA meetings.

But I find it amazing that even now, in a conservative community in a country more influenced by the religious right than ever, there’s a reluctance to pass judgment.

All of us as adults must make judgments every day. We must decide who we’ll vote for, which mechanic we’ll trust, which babysitter we’ll hire.

Imagine if this story had reached the newspaper 50 or 100 years ago. Citizens and newspaper editors alike would have drawn on a rich vernacular of judgment. They’d have used words like “morally reprehensible,” “vile” or “dastardly.” They’d have risen up to chase this “scoundrel” from office. They’d have felt outraged, and they’d have had plenty of words to express it.

I recognize progress; I’m glad we’re not hearing hate speech directed at the mayor for being gay. But, now, here in the Lilac City, the national headquarters for the culture of niceness, the pendulum has swung too far. Our shared vocabulary lacks strong terms for discernment.

I hear the evidence in my conversations.

We seem to have just one commonly accepted term of disapproval in Spokane. It’s the word “inappropriate.”

These days the mayor’s detractors often scold his behavior in one of three ways: “inappropriate,” “really inappropriate” or “really, really inappropriate.”

This limp, insipid word better fits such infractions as wearing white flip-flops before Memorial Day or a purple T-shirt to a Cougar’s tailgate party.

It’s inadequate for this situation. We have a mayor who insists on continuing to hold office after admitting he trolled the Internet to seek sex from our high school students. He met one for sex in the back seat of his Lexus one evening. Another, who he initially believed to be a 17-year-old Ferris High School student, turned out to be a forensic computer expert. The mayor drove his Lexus to Indian Canyon hoping to meet a high school kid.

That’s not just inappropriate. That’s not just a display of poor judgment. It’s wrong. It’s morally destructive, it’s exploitive, it’s damaging to the well-being of young men and to the health and wholeness of the community in general. It’s also a display of an astounding sense of arrogance and entitlement.

We’ve had, now, nearly a month to process this news. Sadly, we’ve digested it with the help of the national media, of Jay Leno and Jon Stewart.

Now it’s time for all of us, the voters and the taxpayers, the leaders and the followers, the mothers and the fathers of this city to come to a judgment – and to express it in words both strong and clear.