‘Hell’s Kitchen’ illustrates demise
Now it can be told. Reality TV has died and gone to “Hell’s Kitchen” (9 p.m., Fox).
OK, maybe that’s an exaggeration. And careful readers of this column know that I’ve been trying to drive a stake through the heart of the reality genre ever since “Survivor” began.
But if “Hell’s Kitchen” is any indication, the format is slowly killing itself without any help from me.
People turned to unscripted TV because they were sick of the predictable sameness of comedies and dramas. Watching a “Who Wants to Be a Millionaire?” contestant sweat under Regis Philbin’s deliberate gaze seemed more exciting and unpredictable than the action on say, “Sabrina, the Teenage Witch.”
Richard Hatch naked on the beach? Didn’t see that coming.
But fast-forward six years (yes, “Millionaire” began six long summers ago, in 1999, the year of “The Blair Witch Project”), and now it is reality television that seems hackneyed, predictable and, well, scripted to the max.
As the title implies, “Hell’s Kitchen” is set in a restaurant (just like “The Restaurant”), where a group of would-be apprentices (just like “The Apprentice”) get screamed at and humiliated by an angry and opinionated Brit (as in “The Weakest Link” and “American Idol”).
Even Gordon Ramsey, the hideous star of “Hell’s,” isn’t original. He appears in a much better show called “Kitchen Nightmares,” seen on BBC America.
In “Nightmares,” Ramsey is a consultant who tries to save failing restaurants. He’s a competent professional who has to suffer foodie fools as they drive their businesses into the ground. He’s the voice of reason.
On “Hell’s Kitchen,” he’s a swaggering, foul-mouthed bully who brutalizes a bevy of would-be restaurateurs. When they introduce themselves to him with their favorite dishes, he reacts with a torrent of profanity, throwing food around and spitting it on the floor.
Told in a series of alternating flashbacks, the 2005 TV drama “Faith of My Fathers” (8 p.m., A&E) recalls Sen. John McCain’s days as a prisoner of war in North Vietnam as well as his rambunctious attitude as a young man and naval cadettrying to live up to the expectations of his father and grandfather, both four-star Navy admirals. Shawn Hatosy stars as the young McCain.
Veterans of the ongoing Iraq conflict recount their experiences on “Operation Homecoming” (9 p.m., TLC).
The son of a man killed in Vietnam pieces together his father’s story in the documentary “Unknown Soldier: Searching for a Father” (6:30 p.m., HBO).
Other highlights
Set in the political turmoil of post-Soviet Russia, the 2005 cable drama “Icon” (7 and 9 p.m., Hallmark) stars Patrick Swayze.
A spunky 11-year-old girl communes with magical creatures in the new animated series “The Life & Times of Juniper Lee” (7 p.m., Cartoon Network), created by comic book artist and “Real World” veteran Judd Winnick.
NBA conference finals (5:30 p.m., ABC).
Peter needs serious help on “Everybody Loves Raymond” (9 p.m., CBS).
Tears, tiaras and tantrums on the “Miss Universe 2005 Pageant” (9 p.m., NBC).
A team member is lost on “CSI: Miami” (10 p.m., CBS).
Cult choice
George C. Scott offers the performance of a lifetime in “Patton” (5 p.m., Turner Classic Movies). ,
Series notes
A chip off the old blockhead on “Still Standing” (8 p.m., CBS) … Joe Rogan hosts “Fear Factor” (8 p.m., NBC) … Brits vs. brats on “Nanny 911” (8 p.m., Fox) … That old feeling on “One on One” (8 p.m., UPN) … On back-to-back episodes of “7th Heaven” (WB), Simon returns from school (8 p.m.) and feels frisky (9 p.m.). Boy crazy on “Listen Up” (8:30 p.m., CBS) … A staff rebellion on “Cuts” (8:30 p.m., UPN). Maya mulls the literary life on “Girlfriends” (9 p.m., UPN) … Paget Brewster guest-stars on “Two and a Half Men” (9:30 p.m., CBS) … Dee Dee’s older man on “Half & Half” (9:30 p.m., UPN).