Regrets may signal misplaced priorities

November in North Idaho is deer hunting season.

For me, November typically is a season of unmet expectations.

Let me explain: I spend more days than I’d like to admit hiking with a rifle, not seeing any deer in the woods. It seems that they’ve all moved to town for the month.

I would expect this from turkeys, but deer, too?

So usually about this time in November I have to start dealing with unmet expectations.

Perhaps you can relate to this. No, not the hunting part, but the feelings of unmet expectations. Does it seem that you sometimes expect something, maybe even hope for something, only to be disappointed?

Forgive the rhetorical question, but I trust it got you thinking about something specific. Let’s face it: Life often presents us with a reality that seems inferior to what we wanted or expected. Fantasy so often trumps reality.

Or does it?

The Bible tells us that those feelings of frustration and disappointment are like red flags warning us of wrong priorities.

When I get bent out of shape about an unmet expectation, it signals something I need to consider. It’s possible I had the wrong expectation.

Jesus taught his disciples to pray within the will of God. In other words, our desires ought to match God’s desires: “Our Father in heaven, hallowed be Your name. Your kingdom come. Your will be done (Matthew 6:9-10).

At times, the pity party we hold when expectations are not met is really a wake. We have put to death the will of God and give our will a higher priority.

Yes, it is true that I have failed thus far to add to my collection of miniature antlers (even during successful hunts, the results have been unremarkable). But I have spent lots of time with my son and other hunting companions.

I have seen the stunning, unsearchable artistry of God in sunsets, snowstorms and fall’s flaming tamarack trees.

Could it be that these are the more impressive trophies awarded by a loving God who gives his best to us even when it differs from our expectations?

The pain we feel when our expectations are unmet also tells us something about our goals.

When we focus so intensely on completing a task that we cannot fathom God’s interruptions, we’re guaranteed disappointment. With God, success for us is not reaching some great end point; it is a journey of fellowship with him all along the way.

Jesus tells us that our priorities will be all out of whack unless we are in constant fellowship with him: “I am the vine, you are the branches. He who abides in Me, and I in him, bears much fruit; for without Me you can do nothing” (John 15:5).

Any sense of accomplishment and purpose in the life of a Christian flows out of fellowship with Jesus Christ. When his priorities become our priorities, we will rest and enjoy the walk with him rather than constantly daydreaming about accomplishing something for ourselves.

It’s interesting to me that this time of year – what the world calls “the holiday season” – brings a peak of depression and frustration in many homes. I really believe the main reason for this is busyness.

When we let events and activities dictate our expectations, we can only hope to endure the results.

Busyness breeds discontentment. No wonder there are so many unmet expectations in so many hearts by the time Christmas rolls around.

We can defeat busyness by making people – not activities – our passion.

Maybe next week’s Thanksgiving will not be picture perfect, whatever that means. But if it reminds us of God’s constant goodness, no matter what our circumstances, how can we not be thankful?

The Bible encourages us to “… in everything give thanks; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you” (1 Thessalonians 5:18).

Even when things don’t go our way? Yes, especially then.

In fact, God’s word says that in the middle of a Christian’s unmet expectations, God is at work on something good: “And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose” (Romans 8:28).

Whether we feel it or not, God is always good. God was even good one recent morning when my son and I were nearly run down by a bull moose who stole our deer hunting spot.

That story gets better every time I tell it!

Are you struggling with unmet expectations? If you answered yes, you’re normal.

Praise God that we can enjoy life’s best as we stay in step with him and allow his priorities to become ours. He promises us comfort, peace and fulfillment as we abide in him.

Could it be that those are life’s greatest expectations of all?