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The Spokesman-Review Newspaper
Spokane, Washington  Est. May 19, 1883

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Pop open the patchouli. Hippies are celebrating over Birkenstock’s J. Garcia Special Edition collection sandals. Don’t be caught at Hordefest without them. www.birkenstockusa.com/ j.garcia.

The next time you’re trading barbs with the guy in the next cubicle, log

onto www.pangloss.com/ seidel/Shaker, and warn the loggerheaded foot-licker that “Sir, if you spend word for word with me, I shall make your wit bankrupt.” “The Shakespearean Insulter” randomly generates put-downs inspired by the legendary poet.

From the annals of Bald Pride: “Sometime in the future, I think baldness will be a choice rather than something you have to suffer. Any bald people will have chosen to be bald,” says Intercytex chief scientific officer Paul Kemp, whose company is working on cloning hair.

Maxim Magazine presents in December its list of the “Top 25 Greatest Short Dudes of All Time.” Here’s a, er, lil’ preview of the top 10:

No. 10 James Madison, 5‘4”

No. 9 The Hobbits Elijah

Wood and Sean Astin,

5‘6”

No. 8 Jon Stewart, 5‘7”

(counting the hair)

No. 7 Martin Scorsese,

5‘4”

No. 6 Yoda, 2‘2”

No. 5 Russian cosmonaut

Yuri Gagarin, 5‘2”

No. 4 Weight lifter Naim

Suleymangolu, 4‘11”

No. 3 Napoleon Bonaparte,

5‘4”

No. 2 Former NBA guard

Spud Webb, 5‘7”

No. 1 AC/DC lead guitarist

Angus Young, 5‘2”

– Associated Press