Problem with payback is it could backfire

Dear Annie: I had an affair with “Craig,” a fellow teacher, for eight years. Not many people knew. Craig recently started dating another woman but didn’t break it off with me. I found out after he’d had two dates with her.

During our affair, Craig told me he loved me, and I certainly loved him. I even wanted to leave my husband and take my kids and move in with him. Craig begged me not to, saying he didn’t want anyone to know about our affair. He said I should divorce my husband, and then after a while, he would marry me. I was afraid if I left without a commitment, I’d end up with neither man, so I went back to my husband.

While we were seeing each other, Craig would leave school and say he was visiting sick students, when he would really meet me and have sex. I also know that he was accepting sports tickets, etc., from vendors who did business with the school. He got caught once for it and was told to stop, but he still continues to do it.

I’m so upset about him using me that I want to tell our employer about all the ethically sketchy things he did. I also want to warn the “new girl” about his past. I still love Craig and can’t get him out of my mind. Would getting revenge be the right thing to do? How do I get over this? – Heartbroken in Logansport, Ind.

Dear Logansport: Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned. You may report Craig for his unethical behavior, since that is clearly against school policy, but understand that Craig could get his own revenge if you do. Beyond that, however, leave him alone. The “new girl” will think your allegations are simply sour grapes, and Craig’s reputation will catch up to him soon enough.

You’ve learned a tough lesson, so use it by not repeating your mistake. You have a husband and a family. Make them worth treasuring.

Dear Annie: As new parents, we recently have been drowned in presents from friends and family. We truly appreciate the generosity, but some of the gifts are utterly useless. May I offer some suggestions to those buying for new parents?

“ Check to see if the parents are registered. This can save you a lot of trouble.

“ Babies grow quickly. If giving clothes, bigger is better. I have a friend whose son was 9 pounds at birth. She never needed anything in size “newborn.”

“ Think function over cuteness. Those frilly little girls’ dresses are adorable, but our daughter wore hers once. She spends most of her time in footed sleepers.

“ If it doesn’t have a snap crotch, leave it on the rack. There’s nothing like spending 10 minutes wrestling to take the whole thing off to change a diaper.

“ Some of the best gifts are the most practical. Our daughter goes through 8 to 10 diapers a day, and no parent will scoff at a nice big box of them. Or wipes. Or a gift certificate to a local baby store.

“ When in doubt, ask the parents what they need. – Still Writing Thank-You Notes in Manheim, Pa.

Dear Manheim: You’ve given some good suggestions, but it’s hard to resist those cute, frilly dresses. So, readers, please make sure all gifts are returnable.

Dear Annie: Less than a month ago, my best friend and her youngest brother were killed in an automobile accident caused by a drunk driver. She was the smartest, kindest, nicest person I have ever known. She didn’t deserve to die like that. No one does. She was only 14 years old, and she had her whole life ahead of her.

I want everyone out there to know that drunk driving kills, and it is 100 percent preventable. Please don’t drive drunk. And remember to tell your friends that you love them. – West Lafayette, Ind.

Dear Indiana: We can tell that your heart is breaking. Take some solace in the fact that your letter may save a life.