Reconnect with the positive
A business associate from five or six years ago contacted me recently. He had learned of the work I had been doing since I retired and he wanted to update me on his life — and it was a dandy of an update.
Kim Garretson’s tumultuous personal story has received a lot of press from publications like Time Magazine, to major newspapers, to countless men’s health publications and web sites. After Sept. 11 brought his media-consulting career almost to a halt, Garretson sustained a second major hit when he was surprised with news he had advanced prostate cancer. Doctors speculated that without sophisticated treatment he would have two years to live.
Garretson, a Twin Citian who works for the national retailer Best Buy, tells a dramatic story of how his only hint had been frequent urination and how his positive prognosis surprised the medical experts. In addition to great medical treatment, he credits his “dabbling’ in various kinds of spirituality for saving his life. He has used humor and a website called www.mansgland.com to communicate an important message about prostate health.
The tale of a passionate advocate for prostate-health awareness was fascinating and compelling. Yet, that wasn’t what got most of my attention. His personal transformation and the lessons he learned about relationships did that.
When I knew him, Kim Garretson put the go-go in new media. He was a blur of constant motion. His Rolodex was a treasure trove. He could reach anybody who was important and helpful in media and technology. His focus was unquestioned.
Garretson now believes he neglected the important relationships in his life and he believes he failed to understand and appreciate the “real” Kim Garretson. His health scare forced him “to find my own center.” He says most people try to run from that center, but his confrontation with his own death forced him to re-evaluate his life and his relationships.
He convinced himself that to get well mentally, physically and spiritually, he needed to shed his go-go persona and become more reflective. For two years, he intentionally ignored that magic Rolodex that had allowed him to solve so many problems. He concentrated on reconnecting with his family and close friends. He believed that “entrepreneurial Kim” with all the connections posed a threat to his new-found peace.
Not too long ago, Garretson changed his view and decided that shedding some of the folks from his past had been a good idea, but he concluded many of those people he had shed could help him continue to reflect on purpose and meaning in life and work.
“I realized I don’t need to have people without positive themes in my life, but the people with positive, instructional themes can enrich me and make me better,” he said.
Garretson has set out to reconnect with people he regards as reflective, positive and possessing attitudes and styles who can teach him about the pursuit of meaning and purpose. It’s simple, but brilliant, just as most great workplace ideas are. Garretson captures a major lesson with his desire to reconnect to people with “positive themes.”
Many of us waste incredible amounts of time griping and complaining about the negative people and forces in our lives. We act as if they are permanent albatrosses that cannot be shed. We almost revel in the hardship they create in our lives.
Without being mean about it, Garretson has decided to expend his energy on the positive people in his life. Kim Garretson got a second chance at life, and he’s decided to live it with people who can help, teach and enrich him rather than the people who can bring him down. It’s a great lesson.
Tip for your search: Shedding negative people should not be a dramatic show. When the negative force wants to go to lunch, simply say you need some alone time. And then make plans for lunch the next day with a positive, sunny person. We make a million choices every day and one of the most important concerns the people with whom we associate.