Dear Dr. Gott: When I saw your article about inappropriate distrust, I thought you were talking about my wife until I started reading. If you would substitute the word “wife” for “husband,” “she” for “he” and so on, that would be my wife.
We’ve been married for a little over two years, and my wife continues to accuse me of having other sex partners or affairs. This isn’t true, and I have repeatedly sworn to her that she is my only intimate partner. Her obsession has truly hurt our marriage. She insists that I am “no different than any other man” as far as she is concerned.
Does the same advice go for men that you gave women?
She gets upset if I’m talking on the phone (without knowing who I am talking with). She goes to my church just to be with me. (She’s a member of another church.) She gets upset if I speak to another woman. She doesn’t want me to be around my friends. And (she thinks) she’s never wrong.
Doctor, you get the picture.
Dear Reader: The same advice holds for men. Since having published my original column on the subject of excessive jealousy, I have received dozens of letters from both men and women who have been the objects of unjustified criticism from a partner or spouse.
I find the situation to be sad because it draws into question the very basis of any intimate relationship: trust and honesty. It is also damning evidence of tremendous insecurity on the part of the claimant. Once again, I strongly urge marriage counseling for any couple (married or not) that is in this no-win situation. If there have, indeed, been infidelities, this must be addressed. If there has been no fooling around, that must be addressed.
Dear Dr. Gott: I am 86 with a cholesterol level of 200. My doctor insists that I take a pill, but I don’t want to do so. Your thoughts?
Dear Reader: I hesitate to override another practitioner’s advice, so I won’t!
However, in my practice a cholesterol level of 200 in an otherwise healthy octogenarian is cause for celebration. In such a situation, I would discourage the use of prescription medication because the risks of therapy (including the price) far outweigh the benefits.
To give you related information, I am sending you a copy of my Health Report “Understanding Cholesterol.” Other readers who would like a copy should send a long, self-addressed, stamped envelope and $2 to Newsletter, P.O. Box 167, Wickliffe, OH 44092. Be sure to mention the title.
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