God calls us to love our ‘not-friends’
Dear Katie, Claire and Andy,
When Claire was between 3 and 4 years old, you and your parents were visiting us in Sandpoint. One afternoon, Claire and Katie were sitting at the kitchen counter, and I was across the counter.
There was a fly sitting on the sink, and I hit it with a fly swatter.
Claire, you really didn’t like spiders at that time, but other bugs were OK.
“Grampa,” you said after I hit the fly, “was that a ‘pider’?”
I answered, “No, Claire, that was a fly.”
You became really upset that the dead bug wasn’t a “pider.”
With a scowl on your face and a pout on your lip, you said, “Dat not nice, Grampa.”
It was so hard not to laugh at the way you got mad at me, Claire.
Your grandma and mommy turned away so you couldn’t see them giggling. I knew you were really upset with me.
I was also happy your anger lasted just a little while. In a short time, you were in my arms, and we were laughing together about something.
I tell you this silly story because I know there are times when other persons do things you don’t like. And you get angry at those persons, even if it’s just for a few minutes.
It may be at your brother or sister, or your parents, or grandparents, a classmate or playmate. When a person does something we don’t like – or are afraid of – anger is one of our normal responses.
Claire felt that way when I killed the fly, so for that specific moment, I wasn’t her friend.
When we feel angry in that manner, no matter how long the feeling lasts, the person we are angry at could be labeled as our enemy. The word “enemy” comes from the Latin word, inamicus, which means “not-friend.”
So it seems fair to say that when someone is not being a friend to us, he is our enemy. It also is fair to say when we are not friends to another person, we are his enemy.
Your daddy and mommy, your grandparents in Mexico and Sandpoint – and many other people in your lives – teach you to love other people.
Katie, Claire and Andy, you do that very well! We are all very happy that you are able to love other people so easily.
But it’s not always easy to love kids or adults who are “not-friends” even if they are enemies just for a little while.
Yet you also are learning in your home, in your school and at your church that Jesus wants us to “love our enemies.”
When you are old enough to read this letter, you also will be old enough to look in Matthew, the first Gospel, to find where Jesus says that very thing. (Matthew 5:44-45).
He didn’t tell his disciples to love their enemies because it is an easy thing to do. He said it because it is the right thing to do.
Jesus knew that God loves all persons, even those who act like God’s enemies. God loves them because they are God’s children.
That makes every person our brothers and sisters in a spiritual way.
So even when it’s natural for us to get angry at them, God wants us to love them, even after we get angry.
Their actions may not deserve us loving them, caring about them, wanting the best for them.
But sometimes the surprise of being loved – even when they are acting stupid or mean – helps them realize how hurtful they are at that moment.
Kids, I wrote this letter to you on April Fools’ Day. It’s a day when it’s fun to play harmless practical jokes on each other.
We trick someone and then say “April Fools.”
I want you to think about this: When you love your enemy, it’s like playing an April Fools’ trick on that person.
He won’t expect you to be nice after he has been a stinker. But when you are nice to him, when you care about him, the joke is on him.
God plays this kind of April Fools’ trick on us every day, in many ways. I really believe God wants us to do the same with persons we see as our enemies.
Love, Grampa