Ethnicity claim a personal choice

Dear Annie: I recently had to register my daughter for her upcoming school year and am again left wondering if I checked the right box while filling in all the information.

I am 100 percent Mexican, and my husband is a typical American mix of Italian, German, English and Irish. He would prefer that I check the box marked “Caucasian.” I would rather check Hispanic or multiracial, since we now have that new option.

I know Hispanics are also considered Caucasian, but these forms expect us to consider them separately. If we have the choice to select something more ethnic, I think we should use it. We should pick either Hispanic or multi and stick to it, especially since our kids will grow up, and it could help them in the future when they start applying for grants and scholarships.

Am I committing fraud by checking Hispanic? It feels dishonest to check “Caucasian” and ignore the Mexican part of me that is in our children. So tell me, Annie, what is the right thing to do? – Not Knowing in Illinois

Dear Not Knowing: The reason you have the option of checking “multiracial” or “multiethnic” is precisely for situations such as yours, where one parent is of a different race or ethnicity than the other. You are not committing fraud by telling school authorities that your children come from a multiethnic background, because it is true. Some parents, of course, prefer not to check any option because they dislike categorizing children this way, but the choice is yours.

Dear Annie: As a fellow farm wife, may I suggest something for “Spinning My Tractor Wheels”?

Farming is a lifestyle and heritage. I was raised by a farmer, and I am married to one. Farming is not a 9-to-5 job. And if he exchanges work with other family members, he is obligated to return work in kind. In order to spend more time with him, she and the children should first help him. By helping, she will gain his respect, the family will be together, and she will better understand his situation.

A weekly outing may be too great an expectation, but going to a school event, watching a TV program together or planning a Sunday afternoon activity are easy ways to start. If he’s the good, faithful, funny and smart man she describes, she shouldn’t be looking for greener pastures. She should be improving the one she’s in. – Partner to a Farmer

Dear Partner: We heard from many farmers and their very proud spouses who say that wives and children should help more, not only to gain a better appreciation of farm life, but because helping out could give them more time to do other things together. Our thanks to all who wrote.