Have mother see new doctor

Dear Annie: My mother is nearly 70 and lives out of state. She has some health problems, like arthritis, and she also had a mild stroke some years ago.

Mom always has been difficult. She’s burned all bridges with her family (except me), and the only friends she has are ones she’s met recently. From time to time, she threatens to cut off contact with me, too, so I’m navigating an emotional minefield. I’ve learned that I can’t bend to please her (which would be impossible), but I’ve noticed that she’s gotten worse lately.

My mother deeply resents my husband, a kind, loving and respectful man who is supportive of of her in every way.

Mom now complains that she’s had several mini-strokes over the last year, but when I question her about it, she shrugs it off and refuses to see her doctor. I’ve written the doctor, but he won’t respond to me due to patient confidentiality. Worse, he doesn’t take care of her basic heart needs and totally ignores treating her arthritis.

I’ve asked her doctor to screen her for depression, and he does nothing except give her pills – no tests, no questioning, just endless prescriptions for anti-depressants. What can I do? – Loving Daughter

Dear Daughter: If your mother is mentally competent, she gets to make these decisions, good or bad. However, a series of mini-strokes could easily have rendered her incapable of making rational choices. Speak to her doctor again and tell him you’d like a referral to a geriatric specialist. He should be willing to do this. You then can take Mom to the new doctor – who should have access to all her records.

Dear Annie: My kids are like many who never remember to say “thanks,” so to make it easy for them, I made up the enclosed “all-purpose thank-you note” and gave each a supply. Hope you can use it. – James M. Runsvold, Caldwell, Idaho

Dear James Runsvold: Very cute. Purists may scoff, but we think any thank-you note is better than none. Here it is:

Dear ( ) Grandma and Grandpa – – – – – ( ) Aunt – – – – – – – ( ) Uncle – – – – – – – ( ) Dad ( ) Mother ( ) To Whom it May Concern ( ) – – – – – – – – :

Thank you so much for the ( ) lovely ( ) thoughtful ( ) gnarly ( ) fabulous gift you sent me for ( ) Christmas ( ) birthday

( ) graduation ( ) release from jail. It is exactly what I ( ) wanted ( ) ordered

( ) dreamed about ( ) will give to a deserving child ( ) will give to someone else after putting a new card on it. I hope that you are doing ( ) well ( ) better, and will reward ( ) me ( ) yourself with more gifts in the future.

( ) Love ( ) Respectfully, ______________.