Laugh off sister’s teasing

Dear Annie: I am 11 years old and a vegetarian. My sister is 23. She makes fun of me because I don’t believe in eating animals. For example, instead of referring to beef as beef, she calls it “dead cow.”

This bothers me a lot, because I know she does it to hurt me. She only says things like that when I’m around. I have asked her to stop, but whenever I do, she just says, “You know I’m kidding,” and rolls her eyes.

I am not sure why she is so mean about it. I have never tried to convert her into a vegetarian (not that I could if I tried). – Hurt and Confused

Dear Hurt and Confused: We don’t think your sister is trying to hurt you. We think she is teasing you, and although she finds it funny, you obviously don’t. We will tell you, however, that it is in your best interest to develop a sense of humor about such teasing, because this won’t be the only taste of it you’re going to get in your life. Those who can roll with the punches do better than those who can’t.

If you find it impossible to let her comments slide off, talk to your parents and explain that her act is getting old and you’d like it to stop. They should help you.

Dear Annie: I am a married priest of many years. While I find my ministry to be spiritually fulfilling, it is not a highly paid one. The small parishes I have served cannot afford large salaries, yet the small gifts given by parishioners after various services (baptisms, blessings of homes, weddings and funerals) are always appreciated.

In recent years, this has not been the case. Fewer and fewer people seem to know church protocol. Christmas comes and goes, and all I receive now is a hearty “Merry Christmas.” After I bless a home, I’m lucky to get a cup of coffee. After funerals or baptisms, people occasionally will give a check to the church but don’t think to compensate the priest.

I know most people are not doing this intentionally. I’m sure they would be surprised to know it creates a financial hardship. My family lives very frugally. My vestments are old and fraying, and I cannot afford to replace them.

I have not mentioned this to my parishioners. But people should realize their clergy work very hard for them. We make ourselves available at all times for counsel and comfort. We spend long hours celebrating the holy services and teaching. We deserve a little something. – Unappreciated in the Ministry

Dear Unappreciated: Most people don’t realize that presiding clergy should be remunerated. It is entirely appropriate to offer a monetary gift for one who performs a wedding, baptism, funeral, etc. We hope your letter will help spread the word.