Teaching life’s lessons from the road
Hugh and Joanne Wiley have been “dancing with change” all their married life.
Their paths crossed in 1999 at a time when both were searching for their next step, their next challenge.
Hugh Wiley, a psychologist for 30 years and successful entrepreneur, was approaching a traditional retirement age but wasn’t excited about looking forward to spending all his golden years trout fishing.
Joanne, a nurse practitioner, was in her early-50s and itching for something new to grab onto.
They met, fell in love and started pondering what to do together for the next 20 years or so.
In addition to both having backgrounds in the helping professions, both had teaching and group-leading experience, and both thrived on being with others.
“We also wanted to travel,” said Joanne Wiley when reached by telephone at a family reunion in Red Deer, Alberta. “The idea of traveling, personal coaching and presenting workshops was born.”
The Wileys married in 2000, co-founded Full Life Seminars, purchased a 1997 38-foot Monaco motor coach and hit the road.
“Our Winsor motor home has no slides,” said Joanne Wiley, “but it fits our needs as a rolling office and full-time living space very well.”
Toward the end of 2001 they parked their RV for several months so that Hugh Wiley could finish his book, “Dancing with Change: Create Your Life in Three Proven Steps,” and they could concentrate on developing their seminars.
By the summer of 2002 they packed up their home on wheels and rolled back on the road.
Last month the Wileys were at the RV Life on Wheels Conference in Moscow, Idaho, where they presented two of their workshops: “Beyond Your Career: Reinventing Retirement” and “Second Time Around: Reinventing Your Retirement Marriage.”
The Wileys said that when they ask couples what is the most difficult part of transitioning into retirement, at the top of the list is “learning how to spend time together.”
For couples who are planning to share a large chuck of their retirement in a 10-foot-by-40-foot (or less) RV space, “learning how to spend time together” is critical issue.
Five things to ponder
The Wileys suggest that potential extended-time or full-time RVers think about the following:
“ How do you set your personal boundaries?
“Small spaces like RVs require each to have their time and space apart from each other,” said Hugh Wiley. “Negotiate how you will do this.”
“ Have you learned any new skills in the last five years?
“Adaptability and the willingness to try new things are required for RVing,” said Joanne Wiley.
“ How comfortable are you meeting new people? You will be out of your familiar social environment, how can you connect with others?
“You may want to RV with friends so all your social needs aren’t being met by your partner,” said Joanne Wiley.
“ How many new activities or adventures have you planned to do with your partner?
“This is an avenue where both of you tackle something together to provide an avenue for mutual support and nurturing,” said Hugh Wiley. “It can create the spirit of being cooperative rather than competitive, deepening your connection.”
“ Do your values and interests still mesh?
“If one of you likes lots of activity and the other likes quiet time, you will need to work on satisfying both of you,” said Hugh Wiley.
“Really, these questions identify the qualities of a good relationship which are intensified by RVing,” said Joanne Wiley.
“We recently learned of a couple who bought a beautiful motor coach, set out on a holiday, returning a month later to divorce,” she said.
The Wileys caution that adjustments to spending time together in a small living space differ substantially based on whether couples are merely weekending or are long term RVing; whether children or grandchildren are involved; and the size of the recreational vehicle.
“Look on it as a challenge,” said Joanne Wiley. “View it as an opportunity that you can fill with what you desire. That focus will help you experience a new rewarding adventure.”
Information
Learn more about Hugh and Joanne Wiley, their seminars and books by going to their Web site www.retirement-wishes.com; or by writing to Full Life Seminars; #577-1225 E. Sunset Dr., Ste. 145; Bellingham, WA 98226. “Dancing with Change: Create Your Life in Three Proven Steps” by Hugh Wiley (Hujo Press, $13.95) ISBN 0-9730963-0-6.
Wheel question
What are the top two or three questions you want answered before buying a new motor home?