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Tue., Aug. 15, 2006

Pia K. Hansen Home Editor The Spokesman-Review

For a woman who’s undertaken as many home repair projects as I have, it’s quite remarkable that I’ve been able to maintain one of my phobias: I’m terrified of anything electrical.

No, silly, of course I’m not afraid of turning on the light or using my computer – but I do have to take a deep breath every time I change a light bulb.

I’d just rather not have anything to do with that.

I’m not sure how this all started. One time I turned on the light in my dad’s kitchen and the light bulb shot out of the socket straight into the sink.

The electrician I was dating at the time said that wasn’t possible.

Well, I’m here to tell you it is.

My fear of cords could also have something to do with growing up around electrical fences. I’ve strung more wire than I care to think about and I still have a scar on my right hand from the one time I grabbed a rusted metal fence post to push it out of the way.

The live electrical fence hit the metal – the rest is history.

The horse I was leading didn’t appreciate the experience either.

OK, so it’s a very small scar, but the scar on my soul is huge.

In 100-year-old houses like mine it’s quite typical that several people at various times have worked on the electrical installation. I’m sure they all had a unique plan. Unfortunately none of them completed their specific plan so I’m left with, um, a mess. To put it mildly.

I have half a security system which consists of sensors on all the upstairs doors – sensors that were never connected to anything, mind you.

There are also a large number of light switches that don’t really connect to anything.

It’s all a mystery to me, so that’s why I call in the pros.

I guess if one wants to succeed in home improvement (not that I have, yet) it’s key to know one’s limits.

That’s why as I’m contemplating getting a new roof put on, I’m 100 percent sure someone else is going to do it.

And when the outside of my house gets painted, a professional painter is taking care of that, too.

No, I’m not afraid of paint but I don’t like heights so there’s no way I’m crawling around on scaffolding for two weeks.

Dealing with contractors holds its own rewards and challenges – here’s my favorite contractor quote so far:

“Wow, ma’am, this is a big job … if you want it done right.”

Well, sir, the reason why I called you is NOT to get it done wrong … let’s just say he didn’t get the bid.

Cheryl-Anne Millsap is on vacation this week – she’ll return in the next issue of Home.

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