Parents can ease pressure for freshmen

Not since the first day of kindergarten will kids face such a tremendous step as the first time they walk into their high school as freshmen. It’s a huge transition. Peer pressure can be intense, and the friends a child chooses have never had, and will never again have, as much importance. Their grades will really matter for the first time.

While there are many pitfalls, parents help their child successfully make the transition to high school, and schools also are taking a role in helping them.

“They change over the summer, they grow. They show up different people than when they left the year before,” Eric Christianson, director of the River City Leadership Academy, said. “It only takes about 20 minutes for their friends to beat them back into that pigeonhole they grew out of over the summer.”

Parents can help their children remain true to themselves by discussing the teen’s goals and where they are going in life, Christianson said. “They (the parents) can help them lock into the person they have grown into,” he said, which will reduce their susceptibility to peer pressure.

“It’s so important for any kid to get involved in school in some sort of capacity,” Shadle Park High School Counselor Stacey Donahue said. “The more involved they are, the more connected they feel to the school and the more they want to stay and invest in the school. There are academic activities, sports, leadership; it runs the gamut.”

Activities are a main way kids make friends, and the first few weeks are the most crucial in determining where kids end up in the social strata, Christianson said. “If they’re not doing a good job of picking their friends, somebody had better,” he said.

Parents need to be vigilant for changes in attitude and behavior and do what they can to get their kids involved. “This is the most important time to actively talk to kids,” he said. “They (parents) need to keep kids safe and get them into a good peer group. The peers are everything. It’s the biggest decision they can make in their life and if they’re making it poorly, parents need to step in.”

“Ninth grade seems the hardest for the kids,” Paige Adcock, a 20-year teaching veteran from East Valley High School said. “It’s when we lose them, when they drop out. It can be quite a shock for them to come to high school for the first time.”

Special orientations and block classes have been designed to help kids find their way through the high school maze. East Valley and Shadle Park, much like other local high schools, have started programs in an effort to address the social and educational needs of freshmen, including core classes, mentoring programs and familiarization activities.

“They come in before school starts and get their schedule. They get a tour so they don’t come in on the first day and feel lost,” Donahue said.

They spend time on activities getting to know each other as well as upperclassmen who continue to act as mentors throughout the year. “It gives them someone older they can look up to to get help,” Adcock said.

Ninth-graders are put in a block of English, social studies and science for the first semester in the hopes that they will feel a sense of community with their teachers and peers and feel more connected to their environment, Adcock said.

“It seems to really be helping. Numbers from one year to the next for discipline dropped dramatically,” Adcock said. “They felt comfortable with their group and didn’t have to act like idiots.”

Parents can also take the early days of the school year to get to know their child’s teachers.

“Good communication can lead to a very successful high school career,” Donahue said. “They can send a quick e-mail of ‘how’s my kid doing?’ and learn what to expect for homework. Parent-teacher communication is a big piece. That’s a place where we often miss the boat.”

Freshmen also need to face the reality that all of a sudden their grades really do count. “If you don’t pass a class, you don’t pass it and you don’t graduate,” Adcock said. Up until that point, kids could skate through, fail classes and still move up into the next grade, she said.

Parents can help by stressing to their child how important their grades are becoming. Plus, “How embarrassing is that to be sitting there as a junior retaking a freshman English class,” Adcock said.

“It’s kind of big and scary and exciting. You just get used to it,” Adcock said. “It’s a brand new chance to be somebody new, to get a fresh start.”