Husband’s hung up on buddy

Dear Annie: My husband and I have been married for 25 years and have two sons. “Dan” is a wonderful husband and father.

Dan has a friend who calls him constantly – several calls a day, most days of the week. “Chuck” always has a reason to call. “Where is milk on sale?” “Where’s a good place to golf?” Sometimes it’s just, “What are you doing today?” He even calls during our vacations.

Dan knows how upset I am with his annoying and pesky friend. We have small children who require our attention. Chuck is married, and his wife is always working or involved with other activities. They don’t have children.

Dan tries to ignore the calls, but Chuck keeps at it, either on our home phone or Dan’s cell phone, until my husband responds or calls him back. Dan knows how much Chuck irritates me – we’ve even had arguments about it – so now he waits for me to leave before he returns the calls.

I have asked Dan to tell Chuck that the overwhelming calls annoy me and he must limit them. But Dan is afraid of hurting Chuck’s feelings and refuses to talk to him about it. Dan says our life is strong and no one can come between us, and I need to let it go. Is he right? – Frustrated Wife in Saginaw, Mich.

Dear Saginaw: We’re wondering why Chuck’s feelings are more important to Dan than yours. No one should be calling your husband several times a day for no particular reason, interrupting family vacations and annoying you. Chuck expects Dan to provide his entertainment. Dan needs to set some limits, and Chuck needs a hobby.

Dear Annie: Over and over I hear about women who don’t get enough affection (without sex). Where are the articles and books for men who don’t get enough affection?

I’m a 30-something man. I do housework, listen and try to give my wife a loving home life, yet I still feel like a deviant for expecting emotional and physical affection. I’m not expecting you to miraculously fix the relationship. I guess I just want to know how odd I really am. – Hopeful

Dear Hopeful: We suspect you are not odd at all. Most men appreciate affection from their wives. Unfortunately, too many couples confuse affection with foreplay, and that is where a lot of problems begin.