Brought back to life
“I’m not going to let you go like this.”
“Get back here.”
“I can’t do this without you.”
“Come back, come back.”
I could hear my daughter Jenny shouting at me, and I could feel her pulling on my right arm, but I couldn’t tell if I was dreaming.
It wasn’t until hours later that I learned I had suffered a sudden cardiac arrest and stopped breathing in my bed at home. Jenny heard me gasping for air and ran into my bedroom. When she realized she couldn’t rouse me, she called 911.
The operator told her she must get me out of bed and flat on the floor. Since I was so rigid, she simply had to push me to the floor. The operator told her to clear my airway and start breathing into my mouth. Jenny later told me that it took a great deal of strength to force enough air into my lungs. She felt that it wasn’t working, but the operator kept encouraging her, telling her not to cry and to keep pushing air.
Finally – in what seemed an eternity but was closer to two minutes – my chest started moving up and down. The operator told Jenny that she had done it – she had saved my life!
At that point, the paramedics arrived and put me in an ambulance for Sacred Heart Emergency. Jenny rode with me, and two neighbors, Ellen and Michelle, followed. Since I still had not regained consciousness, the medical staff warned them about being too optimistic. It was over an hour later that I heard Jenny’s voice again, this time soft and encouraging me to wake up and telling me that everything was all right.
Finally, she asked if could squeeze her hand. I could – and did. Jenny asked again and this time I answered “yes.” When the Emergency Room Physician entered the room, Jenny hugged and kissed him and danced around the room with the other medical staff. I then was able to wiggle my toes and answer enough questions to ensure that I hadn’t suffered brain damage.
Jenny brought in the ambulance drivers, my friends and bystanders to verify that I was indeed “back.”
I spent six days in the hospital, while the doctors analyzed what had happened and made sure it would not reoccur. There is no doubt that Jenny’s courage saved my life. It is now more than five weeks since that day and I am still not sure what to make of my “experience.” I do know that I heard Jenny calling to me and felt her trying to pull my arm through an “amorphous curtain,” but I was unable to respond. I have no conscious memory of anything between lying down for a nap about 4 p.m. and hearing Jenny’s voice in the ER at 8.
Several friends have told me that I have been “brought back” because my work is not done. Actually, I don’t think I have any special “work” to do and I am not looking for a new purpose in life. It is enough for me to have more days to spend with my family and friends and to enjoy each moment. My husband, Fran, was fond of saying that “The meaning of life is life,” and now I realize what he meant.
I am hoping that by sharing this experience I can encourage anyone who is not comfortable performing CPR to learn enough to help. You could be the life-saving difference. Techniques have changed since my Camp Fire Group practiced on “Annie,” the Fire Dept. mannequin 30 years ago and procedures were updated in 2005. The American Heart Association and the Citizen CPR Association point out that coronary heart disease is responsible for an estimated 330,000 out of hospital and emergency deaths in the United States each year. About 900 Americans die every day from SCA. Approximately 95 percent of sudden cardiac arrest victims die before reaching the hospital, but effective bystander CPR, provided immediately after cardiac arrest, can double a victim’s chance of survival, Fewer than one third of the victims of SCA receive bystander CPR, and even fewer receive high-quality CPR.
And in closing, these lines from Samuel Taylor Coleridge:
“What if in your sleep, you dreamed;
“And what if in your dream, you went to heaven,
“And there plucked a strange, beautiful flower,
“And what if when you awoke, you have the flower in your hand?
“Ah …What then?”
Holiday blessings to each of you.