Remember those who are alone during holidays

Dear Annie: Thank you for suggesting that during the holidays, people remember friends and neighbors who are alone. As a single person with absolutely no family, I can tell you how much an invitation would be appreciated.

I have many friends and neighbors, but they all seem to circle the wagons on holidays, and I am excluded. A friend once invited me to come along to Christmas dinner with her sister’s family, but I was uninvited when the family decided they didn’t want an outsider there.

Annie, it’s not about food. It’s about being with people. – Alone but Adjusting

Dear Alone: Holidays are an especially vulnerable time for people without family nearby. Today is Christmas. If it’s not too late, invite a solo to your home. If you can’t do it this year, please keep them in mind for New Year’s and in the coming year. For those of you facing these holidays alone, please make an effort to do volunteer work. Homeless shelters, hospitals and soup kitchens need folks who are willing to pitch in on holidays when regular staff members would like a day off. It’s also a good way to be with other people, being helpful and useful, and it takes your mind off your own troubles.

Dear Annie: I am writing to tell “Outlaws in Iowa” that her mother-in-law is the one who is really missing out.

I grew up with grandparents who got my four siblings and me a coloring book and crayons for Christmas. And that was only twice. Most of the time, they ignored us completely.

My grandparents were always buying the other grandchildren big toys. We were never treated like we were their grandchildren. But my mother always took us to see them, and she taught us to respect them. And my parents let us know that we were just as special as the other grandchildren, even if we weren’t treated the same. When I was old enough to work, I would send my grandparents Christmas presents and cards. I also would send pictures of my son. In response, they began acting like we were part of their family. And I forgave them in my heart.

My grandfather died years ago, and I got a call just this morning that my grandmother has maybe a week left. We are all going to see her tonight. What I am trying to say is, instead of being bitter, try killing her with kindness. Maybe then she will realize that she has other grandchildren who matter. But most of all, be sure to give your kids the love they need and deserve. – B.T.

Dear B.T.: We can’t think of any sentiment that better expresses the spirit of Christmas than forgiveness. Bless you.