Arrow-right Camera
The Spokesman-Review Newspaper
Spokane, Washington  Est. May 19, 1883

‘Survivor’ guy ready to explode

Kevin Mcdonough United Feature Syndicate

Years ago, a friend of mine worked with a woman who fancied herself a songwriter. She even paid to have a record made of her ditty, “I’m a Human Hand Grenade – Lord Don’t Pull That Pin!” I don’t recall hearing the recording, but I’ve never been able to put that title out of my mind. It occurred to me recently while watching “Survivor: Panama – Exile Island” (8 p.m., CBS) that if anyone qualifies as a human explosive, it’s Shane Powers, the gaunt, unshaven, tastelessly tattooed and wrapped-too-tight competitor now assigned to the Casaya tribe.

Last week he freaked out and asked everyone to vote him off. Then he changed his mind. Claiming to miss his son, complaining about lack of water and admitting to all that he’d given up a three-pack-a-day cigarette habit to outlast, outwit and outrage, Shane looks like he could suffer spontaneous human combustion, much like Krook, the alcoholic packrat on PBS’s adaptation of Charles Dickens’ “Bleak House,” still running Sunday nights on “Masterpiece Theatre.”

Even the affable Jeff Probst asked Powers if he were treating “Survivor” as his own private detox clinic. It’s not a pretty sight.

Tonight marks the first head-to-head competition between “Survivor” and coverage of the “XX Winter Olympic Games” (8 p.m., NBC). Just why anyone would give up real sports to watch contrived manipulation and a supper of snake meat is beyond me. Hey, it’s a free country with 500 channels.

And speaking of the Olympics, am I the only one watching the games on an old-fashioned television, and the only one who finds the high-definition footage a tad glaring? The contrasts are brutal, particularly in bright-light situations, which are pretty much every competition shot on snow or ice.

Rather than sacrifice “OC” episodes to the Olympic onslaught, Fox will air the 2001 Reese Witherspoon comedy “Legally Blonde” (8 p.m., Fox).

Other highlights

An emotionally immature record-store owner (John Cusack) takes a romantic inventory in the 2000 adaptation of the Nick Hornby novel “High Fidelity” (6 p.m., Oxygen).

Tom Bergeron hosts “Dancing with the Stars” (8 p.m., ABC).

Mr. McMahon hosts a retirement party on “WWE Thursday Night RAW” (9 p.m., USA).

Mitch bonds with Billy’s girlfriend (Illeana Douglas) on “Crumbs” (9:30 p.m., ABC). Postponed from last week.

The son of hard-working immigrants vanishes on “Without a Trace” (10 p.m., CBS).

Series notes

The bridge of cyborgs on “Smallville” (8 p.m., WB) … Date strategies on “Beauty and the Geek” (9 p.m., WB, TV-PG). …