Saddle up for cowboy vacation
In keeping with the latest all-“Brokeback Mountain”-all-the-time coverage, we’ve dug up a little travel tie-in for you.
At the Runamuk Guest Ranch near Roundup, Mont., you can spend a few days living the life of a cowboy – with or without the internal torment over your sexuality. (That part’s your call.)
The 18,000-acre working cattle ranch has been in Jody and Toby Dahl’s family since 1880, and they’ll be happy to assign you chores like feeding the critters or fixing fence. You’ll also learn how to throw a rope, ride a horse and herd cattle.
Yee-haw!
The Dahls offer a whole menu of other activities including cookouts, hikes, stagecoach rides, fishing, rafting, bird-watching, mountain biking and more.
And given all that acreage to work with, you’ll get plenty of time in the saddle. Explore the ranch’s forests, meadows, valleys and a nearby Native American pictograph on your own horse or with one of the resident mounts.
At the end of the trail, kick off your boots, hang up your 10-gallon hat and assume the downward-facing dog pose with yoga master Paulie Zink. Rest assured, this is no workout for the lily-livered: Zink instructed former Van Halen frontman David Lee Roth.
Runnin’ with the devil, indeed.
Once you’re all stretched out, in the grand tradition of the Old West you can check in for your seaweed body wrap.
Nothing to emasculate you there. Nope.
The ranch’s bodywork doesn’t stop with seaweed, either. There’s massage, neuromuscular therapy, Reiki, salt glow and scalp treatment, to name but a few.
And those of you with a horse back home can enroll in equine sports massage lessons.
Whoa. Equine sports massage?
“Horses have areas where they tense up. The therapist teaches people different hands-on strokes to reduce different stresses in your horse,” says Jody Dahl.
“When she uses our horses for illustration purposes, we love it. We have seen a definite difference. The horses seem to be more free-moving.”
If all this massage and metrosexuality leaves you unnerved, sign up for a guided hunt in pursuit of turkeys, mule deer, elk or varmints. Nothing says “I’m a man” like firearms.
The spring turkey hunt starts around April 13 and runs until May 11 or so.
Rates start at $75 a night, based on single occupancy. That includes three squares a day, horseback riding and instruction, airport transfers and transportation to off-ranch activities where applicable.
You’ll find more information on the ranch’s Web site, www.runamukguestranch.com. Or call (406) 323-3614.
Then there are the folks at the Cross M Ranch, about 75 miles outside Miles City, who might even let you vaccinate the stock on their 10,000 acre-plus working cattle operation.
I don’t know why you’d think that would be fun, but then again I’ve never understood why so many of you love Paris Hilton, either.
A typical week starts with Sunday dinner. Monday morning, they’ll issue your tack and horse, and for the next five days you’ll play real American cowboy, saddle sores and all.
During the regular season – June 4 to Oct. 1 – the whole dogie-chasing, livestock-sorting, fence-fixing experience will cost you $1,200, which includes room, meals, horses and activities.
From May 7 to 14, Cross M is running a branding special. For a mere $1,400 per person you can round up, sort and brand calves.
Check www.crossmranch.com or call (406) 557-2667 to get the details.
Block heads-up
There must be something in the water.
And in Fairbanks, Alaska, they’re carving it out at the World Ice Art Championships, Feb. 28 to March 26. The event attracts about 100 sculptors from all over the world.
Three competitions wrap up by March 10, and all the pieces will be illuminated on March 11. Single-block competitors pair up on a 7,800-pound block of ice. In the multiblock competition, a team of as many as four artists transforms 10 blocks each weighing in at 4,440 pounds.
The amateur open – get your entry form in now! – scales things down to a single 3,600-pound block for two.
In you’re not ready to vie for the prize, sign on for an ice-sculpting class. They’ll even let you take your creation home, so bring a cooler.
Learn more at www.icealaska.com or (907) 451-8250.
Hook, rhyme and sinker
In Oregon, H2O inspiration takes an entirely different direction at the ninth annual Fisher Poets Gathering in Astoria.
More than 60 musicians and writers from the world of commercial fishing will sing their songs and read their poems and stories Friday through next Sunday.
The event includes workshops, readings, art exhibits and more. Have a look at www.clatsopcc.edu/fisherpoets. Or you can direct questions to the Astoria-Warrenton Chamber of Commerce at (503) 325-6311.
Regional events
“Special Olympics Montana State Winter Games, March 5-7, Whitefish. Alpine and Nordic skiers and snowshoers compete at Big Mountain Resort. (www.somt.org/800-242-6876)
“Maryhill Museum of Art Season Opening, March 18, Goldendale, Wash. The museum’s new exhibitions debut, the Cloggers in the Hood dancers perform, artists meet and greet, and the curator takes visitors through a display of Romanian folk life, all in one jam-packed day. (www.maryhillmuseum.org, 509-773-3733)
“Cascade Poultry Show, March 18, Monroe, Wash. The Evergreen State Fairgrounds welcomes chickens, turkeys, waterfowl and humans for a silent bird auction, raffle, youth activities and more. (425-551-1121)