Picking on the old guys

Comedian Jay Leno had a field day with the Orange Bowl: “You had Florida State coached by 76-year-old Bobby Bowden against Penn State coached by 79-year-old Joe Paterno. No wonder the game was played in South Florida.”

Leno continued: “In fact, when the game was over the players dumped a huge bucket of Metamucil over Paterno’s head.”

And from comedian Jerry Perisho, on the Orange Bowl:

“Oh, so those weren’t TV timeouts. Those were naps.”

A little spending money

Rookie Sidney Crosby of the Pittsburgh Penguins told the Toronto Star that Christmas was just like the others despite his recently becoming an 18-year-old millionaire. “My grandmother still gives me 20 bucks,” he said. “No matter how much money you make, some things never change.”

The stamp of greatness

During the time John Wooden was winning NCAA championships by the bucketful at UCLA, Brad Sherman was a student on the Westwood campus.

Now, the Los Angeles Times reports, Sherman is in Congress, and he has introduced a bill to name the Reseda post office in Wooden’s honor. “Should be a slam dunk,” Sherman predicted.

A small fish story

Using rod and reel, fisherman and author Mark Everard has landed a British-record catch – a 41/2-inch minnow that weighed in at half an ounce, the Times of London reported.

“It fought with Hemingway proportions, but I managed to land it safely after a few seconds,” Everard said.

It was the largest minnow ever caught.

This excuse worked for the last coach

Greg Cote of the Miami Herald says Pat Riley didn’t take it well when the Heat were beaten by the Cleveland Cavaliers. “We hear the loss hit him so hard he had to be talked out of resigning to spend more time with Stan Van Gundy’s family.”

Magazine not living up to name

Taking note of a Philadelphia Eagles receiver’s recent appearance in GQ, Peter Schmuck of The Baltimore Sun asked, “If the magazine includes interviews with guys like Terrell Owens, why is it called Gentleman’s Quarterly?”

But they got it right this time

Chris Fowler, the host of ESPN’s “College GameDay,” on Rose Bowl hype: “There’s a big difference between the matchup of the century and the game of the century. We hyped the heck out of USC-Oklahoma last year, and that didn’t even turn out to be the game of the day.”

He knows his place in history

ABC announcer Keith Jackson, 77, often referred to as a legend, says, “One thing about being called a legend is that you must realize that you are not far from becoming an ancestor.”

Not too old for satisfaction

The NFL plans to have 2,000 dancers on the field during halftime at the Super Bowl when the Rolling Stones perform. Originally, the league was seeking dancers aged 18-45.

Realizing this might not be the correct demographic group for the Stones, the league announced Friday that dancers over 45 are OK too.