Split decision

Think your appointment calendar’s packed at the start of the New Year? Try switching places this month with a Spokane divorce lawyer. Once the season of family harmony and good cheer has ended each year, estranged spouses tend to reach for the phone to call an attorney. Local lawyers often notice a surge in calls in January — and observe it’s only a lucky few who wind up reconciling in time for Valentine’s Day.

“January is a big month,” says Mary Schulz, a Spokane family law attorney who has handled hundreds of divorces. “I’ve certainly noticed a spike up in January, usually right after the holiday’s done.”

David Crouse, a Spokane attorney, has handled more than 1,400 family law cases (including paternity and custody, as well as divorce) since 1993. This year, he says, “I got five new clients in the first two weeks of January. Every single one of them was sitting and waiting for the holidays to complete.”

Divorce lawyers notice their calls begin to lag around Thanksgiving, he says, as couples with children settle in to celebrate one more round of family gatherings.

Thoughtful parents rarely want to announce their divorce plans right in the midst of major holidays, Crouse and Schultz agree. They don’t want their children to link their memory of that news to carving the turkey or hanging the Christmas stockings.

“I think that whenever the reality hits, it’s certainly a time of grief, no matter how much it’s wanted,” Crouse says. “The cases that are holding off always have kids involved.”

Says Schultz, “No one wants to end a marriage, particularly if you have children, and I think that most people tend to try to give it their best shot.”

But when couples decide they just can’t take it anymore, the decision often occurs in January.

“Not to be facetious,” Schultz says, “but everyone starts their new workout programs right after New Year’s. I think it’s one of those resolution kinds of things. (They’ll say,) ‘I’m going to ride this year out, but, by God, if it doesn’t improve, I’ve got to do something.’ “

Crouse also notices a pragmatic concern: In January cash-strapped couples can file for rapid tax refunds.

In Spokane County filing fees alone more than doubled last year, jumping from $120 to $250. “For a lot of folks,” Crouse says, “That’s a whopper.”

A simple divorce with no children and only short-term debt to consider might cost a total of $1,000. More complicated cases run anywhere from $3,000 to $5,000, he says.

While attorneys notice a spike in calls in January, the actual divorce filings may lag, says Gary Berg, chief deputy clerk for Spokane County Superior Court.

In 2004, January was the highest month, with 173 petitions for dissolution filed. But last year the spring months took off after a slower January, and July was the highest of all, with 195. Berg suspects that’s because couples were racing to file before the fees shot up.

This year, 121 petitions for dissolution were filed in Superior Court through Jan. 26, he says.

Divorce lawyers see it all. So much, in fact, that Schultz jokes that she one day hopes to write a book. The title: “The Divorce Lawyer’s Guide to Marriage.”

She’s listened to so many unhappy couples that she’s watched patterns emerge. Early on, marriages most often end over one spouse’s behavior – such as drug or alcohol addiction. Later on, it’s emotional distance that often withers a marriage.

“These relationship dynamics are quite universal, and they just simply seem to repeat,” she says.

In long-married couples, she sees a common pattern: One of them becomes absorbed in a profession while the other focuses intently on raising children and caring for the home.

“I think they just tend to lose touch with the other’s life,” she says.

Crouse often urges couples to seek counseling before they begin filing legal paperwork.

“Once you start the litigation, it’s just inherently divisive,” he says.

Lawyers say most couples have already tried counseling and even short-term separations before they arrive in their office.

“People think divorce is a casual thing,” Crouse says, “and I don’t find that in my experience. Most folks have tried everything. It’s just a dead-end.”

But for the rare relationship that might be rekindled, he keeps a list of well-qualified marriage counselors. When a couple finds their way back to one another, he finds it gratifying to lose their business.

Several years ago, he dealt with a second marriage between “two really wonderful people” who were considering divorce. Conflict over the step children had divided them, and Crouse recommended an experienced marriage counselor. They took his advice, patched up the relationship and have been happily married ever since.

Crouse wound up feeling very good about this case. Now every Christmas, the couple sends him a family photo.

“That one was a winner,” he says.