Independence Day sights, scents

Greg Saltness wasn’t sure if he volunteered or was tricked into being in the Coeur d’Alene Fourth of July parade Tuesday. When he was the only one who showed up from Roto-Rooter, out of 13 who were supposed to participate, he thought it might be the latter.

“I’m wondering if anyone else was actually supposed to show up,” Saltness said, sitting in the cab of his Roto-Rooter pump truck.

Earlier that morning, his boss came to decorate the truck. Nobody else showed up from the plumbing company. It was Saltness’ first time watching the parade, let alone being in it. And it was in a pump truck, which he affectionately referred to with other names throughout the trip down Sherman Avenue.

“It’s an all-right job,” he said. “No, you can’t avoid getting stuff on you.”

Saltness was wary when he heard management wanted to enter the truck in the parade. But he showed up anyway and was ready to go, sitting in the truck for nearly an hour after the parade had begun before he started moving.

“I’m not gonna lie: There’s something in the back, but not that much,” he said with a smile. “I told the firefighters I’d switch them trucks. They didn’t go for it.”

Neither did his 4-year-old daughter, Abcde (pronounced “Ab-si-dee”).

“She was scared of the truck,” Saltness said, so she didn’t ride in it with him as originally planned.

He slowly cruised down Sherman, behind a Chinese buffet restaurant entry and in front of the firetrucks.

It seemed hard for parade watchers to not smile at the Roto-Rooter truck, decorated with red-white-and-blue flags on the bumpers.

Saltness said his boss even wanted him to get a tape and record the company theme song and play it over the speakers, but he declined.

From the sidewalks, children waved, plugging their ears as the firetrucks behind blared sirens and honked horns. The adults plugged their noses in jest at the Roto-Rooter truck.

“Hey, the septic guy!” one woman shouted.

“Go Roto-Rooter,” another hooted.

And when Saltness came closer to the IGA on Sherman there was Abcde, in her red dress waving and smiling a big smile.

“Good job, Dad!” she said.

People seemed to love the truck. Saltness tried to entertain the children with a random honk – that is, if his horn would work.

When it did, it was far less menacing than the roar of the fire engines’ own blower behind him.

“Squirt us!” yelled one man, not at the fire trucks but at the Roto-Rooter vehicle.

“I don’t think they want that,” Saltness said.

He considered that the trip down Sherman might even be good for business.

“I have a feeling I’m going to be busy next week.”

He is, after all, the only pump truck driver for the company.

Saltness said he was ready to be done for the day, to prepare for a trip on the lake to watch the night’s fireworks on Coeur d’Alene Lake.

He said he takes his boat out to near the pyrotechnics barge, so that the fireworks look as if they’re falling on top of him.

Although boat traffic is crazy at night, and it takes hours to get back up the boat launch, he didn’t mind. He was ready to get out of his truck and onto the water.

From the sidewalk, announcers finally saw the truck meandering toward them. Saltness smiled and kept driving as they proclaimed his parade presence.

“You’ll love ‘em most when you need ‘em,” the announcer said.