Inheritance has caused divide

Dear Annie: Twelve years ago, my brother (and only sibling) passed away in his early 30s. After much thought and contemplation, my parents decided to execute their wills, leaving 70 percent of their estates to me, and 10 percent each to my brother’s three children. They wanted my brother’s children not to be forgotten, and they assumed that I would, in turn, leave my estate evenly divided between my two daughters, thereby giving something to each of the grandchildren.

Since that time, both my parents have passed away. The inheritance, unfortunately, has resulted in a major divide within my small, immediate family. My youngest daughter and her family fully understand. My oldest daughter, “Sheila,” and her husband, however, are furious. They want “their money” now. Fueled by negative, ill-informed input from my ex-husband, Sheila has severed all relations with me and her younger sister.

I might add that I am financially comfortable. In the past, I have always been generous and painstakingly fair in my distribution of financial help and gifts to both daughters. However, this situation has left me hurt, spurned and isolated.

Am I wrong for holding to my parents’ well-planned and thoughtful wishes? – Isolated on the Great Plains

Dear Isolated: You are not wrong. After all, this is not Sheila’s money. It is yours until you pass on. But if keeping it causes you to lose your relationship with Sheila, is it worth it? Being right isn’t making you happy. Your parents are gone, and it’s your decision now. You can divide the money as planned; you can ignore Selfish Sheila and give the entire inheritance to your younger daughter; or you can give Sheila the money now, let her run through it like a drunken sailor and wash your hands of the aggravation.

Dear Annie: At what age would you expect a child to give up his imaginary playmate? And what would you say about the mental and emotional state of a 26-year-old man with a wife and two children who still talks about his imaginary friend? – Illinois Family

Dear Family: It’s perfectly normal to have imaginary friends – in grade school. Those who keep them into their adult years may be immature or even suffering from mental illness. If this 26-year-old man talks to his imaginary friend, is influenced by him or treats him as a real person, we would recommend a psychiatric evaluation.