Annie’s Mailbox: Win friends by being interesting

Dear Annie: I’m a 65-year-old widow who’s dying of loneliness. I have no friends. I do everything alone.

I belong to church groups and a local senior center, yet after these activities, I go home with no one to talk to. I’ve tried exchanging phone numbers with people, but no one calls. When I see these people later, they claim they are very busy.

I have gone to singles dances and sat by myself. No one asks me to join their table or dance. I dress nice, have my hair and nails done, and am considered very attractive.

It’s the same with my four children. Holidays come and go – no phone calls or cards. I’m not a busybody, yet my children never have time for me.

All I want is a friend to talk to, have coffee or go to a movie with. So why am I always alone? What can I do about this? – Lonely in New Haven, Conn.

Dear Lonely: Developing new friendships is difficult and can require a lot of effort on your part. Don’t wait for someone to call. You make the first move and invite them for a specific time and date. Don’t sit in the corner while others socialize at singles events. Walk over and say, “Do you mind if I join you?” Get on the planning committees of local organizations and social clubs so you are part of an active, involved group. Volunteer at a hospital or for a political candidate. Be interesting to talk to.

As for your children, we have no idea why they don’t call or write. Ask them – and pay close attention to the answer. You may learn something.

Dear Annie: I can’t take it anymore. My husband has suffered with allergies the entire 20 years of our married life. He takes over-the-counter drugs occasionally but refuses to go to the doctor.

Now he is making a nasal noise I can only describe as a sniff/snort/clearing of the throat. He says blowing his nose does not help, and he has to make this noise in order to breathe. If he could only hear himself! I’ve been tempted to record him, but it would only make him mad.

It’s reached the point where I don’t want to be in the same room with him. This “snort” turns my stomach. He also snores at night. I’m convinced a doctor could help him. Maybe if he sees this in your column, he will go. – Snorter’s Wife

Dear Wife: People who make noises like this truly do not realize how disgusting they sound. To your husband’s ear, it’s not so bad. Go ahead and tape him – so what if he gets mad? If that doesn’t convince him, is there someone else he might listen to, like a parent, child or sibling? You also can ask him to see a doctor about his snoring. It could be a sign of sleep apnea.